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BULLYING
 

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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
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Trevor Project: Get Help
LGBTQ Support
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Crisis Text Line

Support Hotlines

Trans Lifeline

 

 

Gay Bashing and Gay Bullying

 

Gay bashing and gay bullying is verbal or physical abuse against a person who is perceived by the aggressor to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer, including persons who are actually heterosexual. It is harassment, abuse, or assault against any supposed member of a sexual minority. The targets are primarily people who do not fit into gender stereotype roles whether they are, in fact, LGBTQ or not.

Gay "bashing" usually refers to a specific incident that might use sexual slurs, expletives, intimidation, and threatened or actual violence toward LGBTQ people. It also might take place in a political forum and include one or more common anti-gay slogans.

Gay "bullying" typically involves vicious, hateful, and threatening actions toward LGBTQ people that are ongoing, intentional, and unprovoked. Gay bullying is repeated negative actions toward LGBTQ people in which there is an imbalance of physical or psychological power.

 

Gay bashing and bullying can include name-calling, making jokes, mean words, mocking, gossiping, teasing, taunting, rumors, lies, threats, pushing, and hitting. Bullying that takes place on-line, through social media and other electronic platforms, is called cyber-bullying.

 

Adult bullies are more likely to use verbal bullying than physical bullying, but the result is the same: their attempt to humiliate and gain power over their target. 

 

 

Teen Beaten to Death in School Restroom Bullying Attack: The School Didn’t Call an Ambulance
Queer Teen Dies By Suicide After Relentless Online Attacks
Young Boy Bullied by Teacher for Having Two Dads

Epidemic of Suicide Among LGBTQ Youth: Blame Recent Politics

Lady Gaga: Till it Happens to You

Complete Guide: Understanding Bullying

Parents of Gay Teen Who Died by Suicide Sue School for Ignoring His Pleas for Help

NEA Today Article: Bullying! Does It Get Better?

The Bully Project

Mayor Pete Explains Bullying to 11-Year Old Girl

Adam Rippon: Message of Support

Judy and Dennis Sheppard: Parents of Matthew Sheppard

 

The Death of Nex Benedict

 

Death of Oklahoma Teen After a Fight in School has LGBTQ Advocates Seeking Answers

16 year old student, Nex Benedict, whose family says identified as nonbinary, died February 2024, one day after a fight with others at Owasso High School in northeastern Oklahoma. Police in Owasso are investigating. Advocates point to a heightened and hostile climate against the LGBTQ community.

It is not clear if or how the fight contributed to Nex’s death. Police in Owasso have not called the investigation criminal and said that early autopsy findings indicate Nex did not die as a result of trauma. “Preliminary information from the medical examiner’s office is that a complete autopsy was performed and indicated that the decedent did not die as a result of trauma,” Owasso police said.

Sue Benedict, Nex’s guardian and biological grandmother, told The Independent Nex was badly beaten during the fight with three older girls in a bathroom at the school and hit their head on the floor. Benedict said Nex had experienced bullying at the school, but added, “I didn’t know how bad it had gotten.”

“I said, ‘You’ve got to be strong and look the other way, because these people don’t know who you are,’” Benedict said.
 

 

Death of Oklahoma Teen After a Fight in School has LGBTQ Advocates Seeking Answers
What We Know About Death of Oklahoma Teen Nex Benedict After Beating in School Restroom
Non-Binary Teenager Dies After Violent Attack in School Restrooms

Nex Benedict's Death Sparks Calls Against Anti-LGBTQ Bullying Nationwide
After Nex Benedict’s Death, LGBTQ Oklahomans Vow to Not Let Hate Take Over

Nex Benedict Loved Cats and Video Games and Reading
 

Nex was a 10th grader and used they/them pronouns, according to their family. “Nex did not see themselves as male or female,” Benedict explained.


Earlier this month, a physical altercation in an Owasso High School West campus bathroom was broken up by students and a faculty member, according to Owasso police. All students walked to the assistant principal’s office and the nurse’s office, police said. After contacting parents and guardians and conducting health evaluations, a nurse suggested Nex be taken to a hospital for further care.  The following afternoon, Owasso Fire Department medics responded to a medical emergency involving the teenager, who was then transported to a pediatric emergency hospital where they later died, police said.

The Benedict family said that while the investigation is ongoing, the early details about the incident are “troubling at best.” they went on to say, “We urge those tasked with investigating and prosecuting all potentially liable parties to do so fully, fairly and expediently. We know all too well the devastating effects of bullying and school violence, and pray for meaningful change wherein bullying is taken seriously and no family has to deal with another preventable tragedy.”

[Source: Andy Rose and Whitney Wild, CNN, Feb 2024]

 

Nex Benedict's Death Sparks Calls Against Anti-LGBTQ Bullying Nationwide

Alabama Pastor's Suicide: Grief, Dangers of Outing, Erosion of LGBTQ Rights
Wilson Cruz: Fellow Gay Students Saved Me From Bullies in High School
Launch of New Anti-Bullying Website to Support LGBTQ Youth
Recent Poll: 40% of LGBTQ Youth Considered Suicide

7th Grader Dies by Suicide After Classmates Told Him He’d Go to Hell for Being Gay
New Report: 91% of LGBTQ Teens are Bullied in Trump's America

Report: Queer Youth Still Attempting Suicide at High Rate

 

 

Message of Encouragement

 

''We’ve got to dispel the myth that bullying is just a normal rite of passage – that it’s some inevitable part of growing up. It’s not. We have an obligation to ensure that our schools are safe for all of our kids. And to every young person out there you need to know that if you’re in trouble, there are caring adults who can help.

''I don’t know what it’s like to be picked on for being gay. But I do know what it’s like to grow up feeling that sometimes you don’t belong. It’s tough. And for a lot of kids, the sense of being alone or apart – I know can just wear on you. And when you’re teased or bullied, it can seem like somehow you brought it on yourself – for being different, or for not fitting in with everybody else.

But what I want to say is this. You are not alone. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t do anything to deserve being bullied. And there is a whole world waiting for you, filled with possibilities.''

[Source: President Barack Obama]
 


 

Bullying is Never OK: Powerful Viral Video

8 Year Old Hangs Himself After Torment From Classmates

Info: Tragic Events

Special Memorial: Remembering the Victims of Bullying

Common Myths About Bullying

Keaton Jones: Why Do They Bully?

12 Year Old on Cheerleading Squad Commits Suicide Over Bullying

Info: Encouragement for LGBTQ Youth in Crisis

Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Share Stories About Being Bullied

Dan & Terry: It Gets Better

President Barack Obama: It Gets Better
Guide to LGBTQ Cyberbullying

Bullied Teen Gets Sweet Surprise at New High School

Gay Bashing

Broadway Sings for the Trevor Project: It Gets Better

 

Impact of Bullying

 

Consider these important facts and statistics and the unhealthy impact of bullying on LGBTQ youth:

--8 out of 10 students have been verbally harassed at school
--4 out of 10 students have been physically harassed at school
--71% of students hear homophobic remarks (dyke, faggot) often or frequently
--80% of transgender students reported feeling unsafe at school because of their gender expression
--40% of homeless youth are LGBTQ
--The number one cause of LGBTQ youth homelessness is family rejection
--Sexual minority youth are at increased risk of suicide attempts

Adam Lambert: It Gets Better
Suze Orman: It Gets Better
Broadway Kids Against Bullying: I Have a Voice

Neil Patrick Harris: It Gets Better
Rob Thomas : It Gets Better

Broadway for Orlando: Love Sweet Love

Gloria Estefan: It Gets Better

Broadway Kids Against Bullying: I Have a Voice

Eve: It Gets Better

BD Wong: It Gets Better
Chris Colfer: It Gets Better

 



Bullying Facts and Statistics


According to statistics, 23 per cent of elementary students reported being bullied one to three times per month. Recent bullying statistics admit that half of all bullying incidents go unreported. 100,000 students carry a gun to school bullying statistics say.

In a recent study, 77% of the students said they had been bullied. And 14% of those who were bullied said they experienced severe (bad) reactions to the abuse.

According to the Gallup News Service, Thirty-two percent of parents fear for their child’s physical safety when the child is at school. Thirty-nine percent of parents with a child in grade six or higher are more likely to say they fear for their child’s safety. Twenty-two percent of parents whose children are in grade five or lower fear for their child’s safety.

 


 

Teen Beaten to Death in School Bathroom Bullying Attack: The School Didn’t Call an Ambulance

Queer Teen Dies By Suicide After Relentless Online Attacks

Young Boy Bullied by Teacher for Having Two Dads
UCONN Report: 91% of LGBTQ Youth Are Bullied

Wilson Cruz: Fellow Gay Students Saved Me From Bullies in High School

Survey Finds Anti-LGBTQ Bias Affects Health and Wellbeing of LGBTQ Teens

2018 Survey: LGBTQ Youth and Suicide

Bullied to Death: 8 Year Old Hangs Himself After Torment From Classmates


A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence increased at their schools. 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month. Those in the lower grades reported being in twice as many fights as those in the higher grades. However, there is a lower rate of serious violent crimes in the elementary level than in the middle or high schools.

According to the bullying statistics, thirty-two percent of parents fear for their child’s physical safety when the child is at school. Thirty-nine percent of parents with a child in grade six or higher are more likely to say they fear for their child’s safety. Twenty-two percent of parents whose children are in grade five or lower fear for their child’s safety.

90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying. 39% of middle schoolers and 36% of high schoolers say they don’t feel safe at schools.

Among students, homicide perpetrators were more than twice as likely as homicide victims to have been bullied by peers. Bullying statistics say revenge is the strongest motivation for school shootings. 87% of students said shootings are motivated by a desire to “get back at those who have hurt them.” 86% of students said, “other kids picking on them, making fun of them or bullying them” causes teenagers to turn to lethal violence in the schools.

 

Nex Benedict's Death Sparks Calls Against Anti-LGBTQ Bullying Nationwide

Wilson Cruz: Fellow Gay Students Saved Me From Bullies in High School

School Officials Failed to Protect 12 Year Old Gay Student

Pink News: Almost Every Queer Teen in Trump's America Has Been Bullied

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Get Real About Bullying

Paula Abdul: Message of Support

It Gets Better Project

Info: LGBTQ Youth and Teens

7th Grader Dies by Suicide After Classmates Told Him He’d Go to Hell for Being Gay

Heartbreaking Suicide Note From Gay Teen

It Gets Better YouTube Channel

 

   

Bullying statistics shows that those who bully and are bullied appear to be at greatest risk of experiencing the following: loneliness, trouble making friends, lack of success in school, and involvement in problem behaviors such as smoking and drinking.

61% said students shoot others because they have been victims of physical abuse at home. 54% said witnessing physical abuse at home can lead to violence in school.

According to bullying statistics , one out of every 10 students who drops out of school does so because of repeated bullying. Harassment and bullying have been linked to 75 percent of school-shooting incidents.

 

Suicide and Crisis Hotline: 988

Trevor Lifeline: 866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
LGBTQ Counseling Hotline: 888-843-4564

 

988 Suicide Lifeline
Trevor Project: Get Help
LGBTQ Support
Youth Support

Crisis Text Line

Support Hotlines

Trans Lifeline

 

 

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
Launch of New Anti-Bullying Website to Support LGBTQ Youth
Recent Poll: 40% of LGBTQ Youth Considered Suicide

7th Grader Dies by Suicide After Classmates Told Him He’d Go to Hell for Being Gay
New Report: 91% of LGBTQ Teens are Bullied in Trump's America

Report: Queer Youth Still Attempting Suicide at High Rate

The Trevor Project

 

Pete Buttigieg Explains Bullying to 11-Year Old Girl


South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg gave an girl some advice for dealing with bullies. At a campaign stop in Iowa City, Buttigieg drew questions from a fishbowl and he pulled one from 11-year-old Rebecca Johann: “Do you have any advice about bullying?”

He started by saying that it’s important to talk about it. “So I think you’re leading the way on that. Thank you for raising the question,” he said.


He went on to talk about his experiences. “I had experiences with bullying when I was growing up,” he said. “Everybody who’s different can be bullied. And the secret is – everybody’s different in some way.“

“When someone is bullying you, they’re making you feel alone sometimes. They’re making you feel like you’re the only one in that situation, and they’re breaking you down.”

 

He then told Rebecca that she shouldn’t feel ashamed. “The first thing you’ve got to know is you have nothing to be ashamed of,” he said. “And the second part, this is a much harder part to remember, is that the person who is bullying you probably has something a little broken in them, and it’s part of why they’re trying to get your attention.”


“I think it really matters that we have a president that doesn’t show that type of behavior. It’s one of the reasons I’m running for president.”

Buttigieg concluded by saying that Rebecca should lead others by example, by not stooping down to the level of a bully.

 

[Alex Bollinger, LGBTQ Nation, May 2019]

 

Nex Benedict's Death Sparks Calls Against Anti-LGBTQ Bullying Nationwide

Mayor Pete Explains Bullying to 11-Year Old Girl

Pete Buttigieg: You Have Nothing to Be Ashamed Of

Common Myths About Bullying

Young Boy Bullied by Teacher for Having Two Dads

Broadway Kids Against Bullying: I Have a Voice

Bullied Teen Gets Sweet Surprise at New High School

Info: Encouragement for LGBTQ Youth in Crisis

Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide

 

 

 

Remembering Eli Fritchley

A seventh grader in Bedford County, Tennessee died by suicide in November 2021 after he was ruthlessly bullied for being gay. The parents of 12-year-old Eli Fritchley say his peers repeatedly told him he was going to Hell because of his sexuality.

“He was told because he didn’t necessarily have a religion and that he said he was gay that he was going to go to Hell. They told him that quite often,” Eli’s mom, Debbey said. Debbey also suspects students mocked Eli for the way he dressed. He loved pink, painted his nails, and wore the same SpongeBob sweatshirt almost daily. “I think probably because he was in the same clothes every single day that they used that as a weapon,” Debbey said.

Eli’s dad, Steve, said he doesn’t think the students ever physically abused Eli, but that verbal abuse can be just as harmful. “I think it was just words, but words hurt,” Steve said. “They really hurt.”

Nevertheless, Eli’s parents are shocked by what happened, as they said Eli usually brushed off the bullies. “He didn’t care, or at least we thought he didn’t care, and that’s what’s really difficult for us because we thought he didn’t care,” they said.

Education, Debbey said, is key to stopping bullying. The Fritchleys hope to prevent what happened to Eli from happening to other kids and families. “We all failed him,” Debbey said. “We all failed him. It’s as simple as that.”

 

Bullied Gay 12-Year-Old, Told He Would Go to Hell, Dies by Suicide
Young Boy Bullied by Teacher for Having Two Dads
Bullied to Death: 8 Year Old Hangs Himself After Torment From Classmates

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Share Stories About Being Bullied

7th Grader Dies by Suicide After Classmates Told Him He’d Go to Hell for Being Gay

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Get Real About Bullying

Gay Student Tormented and Raped by Bullies

Keaton Jones: Why Do They Bully?

Teen Beaten to Death in School Bathroom Bullying Attack: The School Didn’t Call an Ambulance

Bullied Teen Gets Sweet Surprise at New High School

Special Memorial: Remembering the Victims of Bullying

 

 

Remembering Nigel Shelby

Nigel Shelby died by suicide on April 18, 2019 after being mercilessly bullied for being gay. He was a 9th grader at Huntsville High School, in Huntsville, Alabama. He loved theater and history. Nigel spent many years in band where he played the clarinet, trumpet, and drums. Nigel had big dreams of being an actor, singer, dancer, rapper, and all around entertainer, but most of all he wanted to be an activist for the LGBTQ community. Nigel loved to write, he loved gymnastics, and taking selfies. He was a fan of Beyonce and was very passionate about Ariana Grande. Nigel's mother, Camika, had said Nigel suffered from depression and struggled with his identity.
 

Adam Lambert: It Gets Better
Suze Orman: It Gets Better
Broadway Kids Against Bullying: I Have a Voice

Neil Patrick Harris: It Gets Better
Rob Thomas : It Gets Better

Broadway for Orlando: Love Sweet Love

Gloria Estefan: It Gets Better

Broadway Kids Against Bullying: I Have a Voice

Eve: It Gets Better

BD Wong: It Gets Better
Chris Colfer: It Gets Better

 

 

Alternatives to Suicide

Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws is written by transsexual activist Kate Bornstein. Bornstein bravely and wittily shares personal and unorthodox methods of survival in an often cruel world. A one-of-a-kind guide to staying alive outside the box, Hello, Cruel World is a much-needed unconventional approach to life for those who want to stay on the edge, but alive.


Hello, Cruel World features a catalog of 101 alternatives to suicide that range from the playful (moisturize!), to the irreverent (shatter some family values), to the highly controversial. Designed to encourage readers to give themselves permission to unleash their hearts' harmless desires, the book has only one directive: "Don't be mean." It is this guiding principle that brings its reader on a self-validating journey, which forges wholly new paths toward a resounding decision to choose life.

Tenderly intimate and unapologetically edgy, Kate Bornstein is the radical role model, the affectionate best friend, and the guiding mentor all in one.

 

Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide

Heartbreaking Suicide Note From Gay Teen

Youth Who Are Bullied Based on Sexual Orientation

Suicide Among LGBTQ Youth

 

 

Dan Levy: Message of Support

Bullying is Never OK: Powerful Viral Video

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Share Stories About Being Bullied

Info: Tragic Events

Nex Benedict's Death Sparks Calls Against Anti-LGBTQ Bullying Nationwide

Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide

NEA Today Article: Bullying! Does It Get Better?
Guide to LGBTQ Cyberbullying

7th Grader Dies by Suicide After Classmates Told Him He’d Go to Hell for Being Gay

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Get Real About Bullying

Gay Student Tormented and Raped by Bullies

Info: Hate Crimes

Keaton Jones: Why Do They Bully?

Gay Bashing

Bullied Teen Gets Sweet Surprise at New High School

Common Myths About Bullying

Info: Encouragement for LGBTQ Youth in Crisis

Special Memorial: Remembering the Victims of Bullying

 

Bullying and LGBTQ Youth

In March 2009, parents sued a Mentor, Ohio high school for not protecting their child from physical abuse, name-calling and taunts over his perceived sexual orientation. The student, Eric Mohat, was told by one of the school bullies, "Why don't you go home and shoot yourself, no one will miss you." Mohat did.

In April, 2009, an 11-year-old Massachusetts student committed suicide because of what his mom described as rampant bullying over his perceived sexual orientation at school.

Surveys of middle and high school students show that a great deal of verbal and physical bullying in our schools is directed at students who are, or are perceived to be lesbian, gay or sexual minority youth.

 

 
 

2018 Survey: LGBTQ Youth and Suicide

Bullied to Death: 8 Year Old Hangs Himself After Torment From Classmates

Pink News: Almost Every Queer Teen in Trump's America Has Been Bullied

Patricia Arquette: Message of Support

Bullying is Never OK: Powerful Viral Video

Teen Beaten to Death in School Bathroom Bullying Attack: The School Didn’t Call an Ambulance

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Share Stories About Being Bullied

Info: Tragic Events

NEA Today Article: Bullying! Does It Get Better?


The National School Climate Survey, conducted in 2005 by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), concluded that three-quarters of the high school students surveyed heard derogatory and homophobic remarks “frequently” or “often” at school, and 90 percent heard the term “gay” used generally to imply someone is stupid or something is worthless. Bullying around issues of sexual orientation, non-conforming gender behaviors and dress was the most common form of bullying, second only to issues of appearance (body size and disability).

In a poll conducted in 2005 by Harris Interactive and GLSEN, 60 percent of students (aged 13-18) had been verbally or physically harassed or assaulted during the past school year because of real or “perceived race/ethnicity, disability, gender, sexual orientation, gender expression, or religion." Over half of these incidences were thought to be based on sexual orientation alone.

Among students who identified themselves as LGBTQ, 90 percent had been bullied in the past year. Of these, 66 percent had been verbally abused, 16 percent physically harassed, and 8 percent had been assaulted.

 



LGBTQ students reported feeling unsafe at school three times more often than non-LGBTQ students.

In a national survey of teens (ages 12-17) commissioned by the National Mental Health Association (NMHA), 78 percent of teens reported that kids who are gay or who are thought to be gay are teased or bullied in their schools and communities; 93 percent hear other youth use derogatory words about sexual orientation at least once in a while, and 51 percent hear these words every day.

The 2007 Indicators of School Crime and Safety Report conducted jointly by the US Departments of Education and Justice, found that 11 percent of students (aged 12-18) reported hearing hate-related words, 38 percent saw hate-related graffiti, and 1 percent reported that the hate-related words related to a disability or sexual orientation.


Guide to LGBTQ Cyberbullying

Nex Benedict's Death Sparks Calls Against Anti-LGBTQ Bullying Nationwide

Info: Hate Crimes

Bisexual Teen Dies by Suicide After Being Outed On-Line

Bullied Teen Gets Sweet Surprise at New High School

Gay Bashing

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Get Real About Bullying

Common Myths About Bullying

Info: Encouragement for LGBTQ Youth in Crisis

Young Boy Bullied by Teacher for Having Two Dads

Special Memorial: Remembering the Victims of Bullying

 

 

Jamel Myles: Bullied for Coming Out and Commits Suicide

 

A 9-year-old boy in Colorado killed himself in August 2018 after his mother said he was bullied for coming out to his classmates as gay.

Jamel Myles had just begun fourth grade at Joe Shoemaker Elementary School. Jamel's mother, Leia Pierce, said that her son had come out to her and some of his classmates over the summer. "My son was nervous to tell me he was gay. But when he told me he was gay, I told him I still love you son," she recalled. "He is my sunshine... he is my baby."

 

His mother’s supportive reaction apparently made Jamel feel comfortable enough to tell his classmates when the school year started in August. “He went to school and said he was gonna tell people he’s gay because he’s proud of himself,” Pierce said.  But Jamel’s positive feeling changed after some other kids at Joe Shoemaker Elementary School bullied him and allegedly told him to kill himself, his mother said.

The school said it's investigating the bullying allegations. The school said it's providing social workers and counseling to students. The Denver Police Department confirmed Jamel's death was a suicide and said it's continuing to investigate the circumstances, which appear non-criminal at this time.

 

Huff Post: Denver Boy Dies by Suicide After Bullying for Being Gay
ABC News: 9 Year Old Boy Commits Suicide After He's Bullied for Coming Out

Advocate: Anti-Gay Bullying Starts in Elementary School

USA Today: Boy Commits Suicide After Being Bullied for Coming out as Gay

Logo: Boy Commits Suicide After Being Bulled by Classmates

 

 

Gabriel Taye: Bullied to Death

 

In August 2017, 8-year-old Gabriel Taye hanged himself after constant torment by his classmates. The third-grade elementary student was tormented and bullied by classmates constantly and died by suicide two days after being shoved into a bathroom wall so hard he was knocked unconscious.

His parents say school officials in Cincinnati didn’t notify them of the nonstop bullying. Instead, the school covered up the violent incident that was caught on camera. It wasn’t until a police detective mentioned the footage of the assault outside of the bathroom door that his parents found out it had happened.

“If CPS had been honest with Taye's mother about what happened in the bathroom, how long he had been unconscious, and the dangerous school environment Gabe had to navigate each day of third grade, she would never had let him return to Carson,” their attorney said in a statement.

In the footage, Taye is shown reaching out to shake hands with another student who pulls Taye into the bathroom wall. After Taye falls to the floor, the bully disappears as other students poke, kick and walk past his body. After six minutes, an administrator arrives with other adults and Taye is shown walking away with them.

“I am my son’s voice, and it will be heard,” Taye’s mother, Cornelia Reynolds, said in a statement. “It is my obligation to make sure that this will never happen again. No, this will not go away. People need to know the truth and help fix this epidemic in our society by spreading awareness and speaking up.”

The school says that Taye told school officials that he had fainted and not that he had been bullied, but they didn’t tell his parents anything about the incident.

 

The Trevor Project

It Gets Better Project

It Gets Better YouTube Channel

Dan & Terry: It Gets Better

President Barack Obama: It Gets Better
Broadway Sings for the Trevor Project: It Gets Better

 

 

 

Asher Brown Kills Self After Years of Taunts

David and Amy Truong were looking for justice after their 13-year old son, Asher Brown, committed suicide in September 2010 after being relentlessly bullied at his Houston-area school. In addition to taking on his religion and fashion sense, Brown's peers took to - you guessed it - calling him "gay." Things became so bad that Asher shot himself to death.

The Truongs say they called the school to tell officials about the bullying. The school, for its part, insists no such calls every happened, but the distraught parents aren't giving up. "I did not hallucinate phone calls to counselors and assistant principals. We have no reason to make this up. It's like they're calling us liars," said Mrs. Truong, while her husband insisted, "We want justice. The people here need to be held responsible and to be stopped. It did happen. There are witnesses everywhere."

Now, Asher's parents hope to use his death as a lesson: "Our son is just the extreme case of what happens when (someone is) just relentless," insisted Mrs. Truong, before turning her attention to the bullies, "I hope you're happy with what you've done. I hope you got what you wanted and you're just real satisfied with yourself." And I hope the accused are apprehended and, yes, brought to justice: the tide of bullying needs to stop, period, and perpetrators need to know that their words can indeed break bones, and lives.

 

8 Year Old Hangs Himself After Torment From Classmates

Nex Benedict's Death Sparks Calls Against Anti-LGBTQ Bullying Nationwide

12 Year Old on Cheerleading Squad Commits Suicide Over Bullying

Gay Student Tormented and Raped by Bullies

Young Boy Bullied by Teacher for Having Two Dads

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Share Stories About Being Bullied

Keaton Jones: Why Do They Bully?

Info: Tragic Events

SPLC's New Film to Combat Anti-Gay Bullying
Guide to LGBTQ Cyberbullying

Bisexual Teen Dies by Suicide After Being Outed On-Line

Info: LGBTQ Youth and Teens

Special Memorial: Remembering the Victims of Bullying

 

Suicide and Crisis Hotline: 988

Trevor Lifeline: 866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
LGBTQ Counseling Hotline: 888-843-4564

 

988 Suicide Lifeline
Trevor Project: Get Help
LGBTQ Support
Youth Support

Crisis Text Line

Support Hotlines

Trans Lifeline

 

Transgender Teen Suicide

 

In June 2017, 17-year-old Leelah Acorn posted a suicide note to her Tumblr account explaining that she had felt like a girl since she was four. Her parents had rejected her on religious grounds, told her she was nuts, and forced her into psychiatric treatment. Leelah announced she was ending her life, and, around 2:00 that morning, walked out onto Interstate 71 and into the path of a speeding tractor-trailer truck.

Her Tumblr note explained that she was sure she would never be accepted or happy. Her parents told her that God doesn't make mistakes. "Parents, please don't tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don't ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won't do anything but make them hate themselves. That's exactly what it did to me."

 



No one is punished for causing suicides like this. Her parents faced no legal consequences for actions which (according to Leelah’s own testimony) pushed her to take her life. But that is about to change. Consider these three other related stories.

One: In 2017 two Pennsylvania parents from a religious fringe group who insisted on prayer while their child slowly died from treatable bacterial pneumonia were charged with involuntary manslaughter and child endangerment for withholding recommended medical care.

Two: The American Psychiatric Association now recognizes transsexuality as a physical (not mental) disorder. Major medical groups led by both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Medical Association now recommend that hormone blockers, and later hormone treatment, be provided to kids diagnosed with transsexuality.

Three: A three-judge court in Canada has just ruled this month that an unnamed 14-year-old trans boy has the right to continue hormone treatment. This after his conservative father had sought to block his son from continuing to get treatment. Like Leelah, the boy had attempted suicide. Unlike her, he failed. The boy argued that stopping would leave him “stranded… I would feel like a freak.”


 

Advocate Mag: Transgender Teen Suicide

Time Mag: Conversion Therapy is Child Abuse

ABC News: Leelah Alcorn Commits Suicide

Suicide of Leelah Alcorn

Trans Teen Leelah Alcorn's Death Ruled a Suicide

CNN: Ohio Trans Teen's Suicide and Mother's Anguish

 

The court not only ordered that the boy had the right to continue hormone treatments, but that the father must use the correct pronouns and male name, adding that continuing to misgender and dead-name his son would amount to violence under the Family Law Act.

Said the court: “A youth seeking gender affirming healthcare is to be treated (and must be treated) in the same way as any other youth seeking any other medical treatment.” This is a game-changer.

What we finally have here are the ingredients for ending the denial of medical treatment for transgender kids, and the suicides that result from them. This is not the end, but it is the beginning of the end of parents’ unlimited right to deny their trans children the recognition they need and the treatment they demand.

 

This is now a gender rights time-bomb hiding in plain sight. But no one has heard it ticking yet. Sooner or later, groups like the AAP and AMA will shift gears so that providing hormones and hormone blockers (and surgery) will not just be the recommended treatment but the prescribed treatment. And denying medical treatment for a child suffering from gender dysphoria will be no different from denying medical treatment for a child suffering from pneumonia, as both are increasingly recognized as life-threatening conditions.

Moreover, parents who willfully withhold and deny treatment that results in (or might result in) another transgender suicide will be charged with child endangerment and/or involuntary manslaughter. No doubt this will be implemented in another country first, but eventually we will get it here as well.

That day can’t come too soon. Because withholding treatment from children that need it is child endangering. There are too many Leelahs out there, desperate for treatment and recognition, whose suffering and untimely deaths could be easily averted if we provided genderqueer kids with the same basic medical rights their cisgender peers have always had.

 

[Source: Riki Wilchins, Advocate Magazine, Sept 2019]
 

Pink News: Almost Every Queer Teen in Trump's America Has Been Bullied

Heartbreaking Suicide Note From Gay Teen

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Get Real About Bullying

Trailer for Film: Bully

Teen Beaten to Death in School Bathroom Bullying Attack: The School Didn’t Call an Ambulance

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Time Mag: A Punishing Movie Your Kids Must See
Info: Encouragement for LGBTQ Youth in Crisis

Complete Guide: Understanding Bullying

The Bully Project


 

Remembering Carl Walker-Hoover

On April 6, 2009, an 11-year old Massachusetts boy, Carl Walker-Hoover, took his life after enduring constant bullying, including anti-LGBTQ bullying. Though Carl did not identify as gay, his story is a tragic reminder that anti-LGBTQ bullying and harassment affects all students.

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, a junior at New Leadership Charter School in Springfield, hanged himself after enduring bullying at school, including daily taunts of being gay, despite his mother's weekly pleas to the school to address the problem.
 

Gloria Estefan: It Gets Better

Broadway Kids Against Bullying: I Have a Voice

Eve: It Gets Better

BD Wong: It Gets Better
Broadway for Orlando: Love Sweet Love

Chris Colfer: It Gets Better

 

Justin Aaberg: Bullied by Classmates for Being Gay

 

When Tammy Aaberg wears her purple T-shirt that says "End the Hate" every year on October 20, to commemorate Spirit Day (Anti-Bullying Day), she is thinking of her son Justin. In 2010, he killed himself after he was bullied at school for being gay. "We are losing too many kids. This has been kept silent for too long," says Aaberg, of Fridley, Minn., a Twin Cities suburb. She joins hundreds of thousands of young people across the US every year who wear purple on October 20 to call attention to the deaths of youths who committed suicide after they were bullied or harassed because they were gay or were thought to be gay.

 

Her son, Justin Aaberg, was 15 when he hanged himself in his room on July 9, 2010. His last Facebook post said, "If you really knew me, no one would like me," his mother says. Her son never told her of the emotional pain he was in, but gay people hear so many epithets and cruel remarks that they start to believe them, Aaberg says.

 

[Source: Marisol Bello, USA Today]

 

 

CBS News: Tyler Clementi Suicide
NPR News: Student's Suicide is Deadly Reminder of Intolerance
NY Times: Private Moment Made Public, Then a Fatal Jump
Huffington Post: Rutgers Student Commits Suicide

 

Tragic Suicide Death of Gay Rutgers Student

Tyler Clementi committed suicide Sept. 22, 2010 apparently after discovering that his Rutgers University roommate, Dharun Ravi, and friend Molly Wei, live-streamed Clementi in a sexual encounter with another male student without his knowledge, a lawyer for the Clementi family announced. Clementi's family attorney, Paul Mainardi, said that after learning of the violation of his privacy Clementi jumped off the George Washington Bridge, which connects New Jersey with upper Manhattan. Clementi's car, cell phone and computer were found near the bridge and his wallet was found on a walkway on the bridge. There was reportedly no note at the scene, but ABC News reported that Clementi left a final goodbye on his Facebook page that read "jumping off the gw bridge, sorry."

Investigators have not confirmed the suicide because no body has been found, but sources within the investigation told the Star-Ledger that witnesses say they saw him jump. Ravi and Wei were charged with illegally taping Clementi having sex and posting the images on the Internet, after they turned themselves in to the campus police. According to investigators, the first incident happened Sept. 19 when Ravi set up a web cam in the room to capture Clementi and his partner after Clementi asked to have the room alone for a few hours. "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay," Ravi said on his Twitter page in a Sept. 19 entry posted at 6:17 p.m., according to the New Jersey Star-Ledger. Ravi allegedly broadcast that encounter but investigators would not say what video site it was posted to. A few days later Ravi allegedly tweeted to his 150 followers telling them to "chat" him on iChat, an instant messaging sight with live video feed, the Star-Ledger reported. "Anyone with iChat, I dare you to video chat me between the hours of 9:30 and 12. Yes it's happening again," Ravi wrote Sept. 21. The next day Clementi's belongings were found on the bridge.

Steven Goldstein, chairman of the gay rights group Garden State Equality, said in a statement Wednesday that his group considers Clementi's death a hate crime. "We are sickened that anyone in our society, such as the students allegedly responsible for making the surreptitious video, might consider destroying others' lives as a sport," Goldstein said. The accused were classmates at West Windsor-Plainsboro High School North in Plainsboro, NJ. If convicted of the third degree offense of transmitting or distributing the images they could face up to five years in prison each under state law. A fourth degree conviction for collecting the images could mean up to 18 months in jail, according to the Middlesex County Prosecutor's Office. County Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan had no immediate comment about additional charges in the wake of Clementi's death.

 

Adam Lambert: It Gets Better
Suze Orman: It Gets Better
Broadway for Orlando: Love Sweet Love

Neil Patrick Harris: It Gets Better
Rob Thomas : It Gets Better

Broadway Kids Against Bullying: I Have a Voice

 

 

Girl Beaten Up for Having a Boy's Name

What's in a name? In November 2010, a 12 year old girl at Hernando Middle School in Mississippi was beaten by five fellow students -- reportedly because they said her name, Randi, was "a boy name." "They started talking about me like I was a man," she said. "That I shouldn't be in this world. And my name was a boy name." The four girls and a boy surrounded her after a Fellowship of Christian Students meeting, and, she said, kicked her in the rib and leg, hit her in the face, sat on her, pushed her face into the floor, and threw her onto a cafeteria table.

The incident was caught on surveillance camera. A school administrator issued a statement that "fighting is not tolerated and that disciplinary action will be taken to the fullest extent of the law." No charges were filed, however, because the police were not called. Whether the attack was an isolated incident or part of ongoing bullying remains unknown. The student in question was not said to be LGBTQ -- but whether she is or not doesn't matter. She was beaten because she was perceived to be in some way not conforming to her gender. That is yet another reason schools need to include discussions of sexual orientation and gender identity and expression in diversity and anti-bullying programs. It is not just LGBTQ students at risk, but potentially others as well. Students, teachers, and staff must learn that even characteristics some people might view as "deviant" or "sinful" are still no excuse for violence and bullying.

 

Suicide and Crisis Hotline: 988

Trevor Lifeline: 866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
LGBTQ Counseling Hotline: 888-843-4564

 

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The Trevor Project

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Recent Poll: 40% of LGBTQ Youth Considered Suicide

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Parents of Gay Teen Who Died by Suicide Sue School for Ignoring His Pleas for Help

Info: LGBTQ Youth and Teens

It Gets Better Project

Broadway Kids Against Bullying: I Have a Voice

Heartbreaking Suicide Note From Gay Teen

GLAAD: LGBTQ Youth Get Real About Bullying

7th Grader Dies by Suicide After Classmates Told Him He’d Go to Hell for Being Gay

It Gets Better YouTube Channel

President Barack Obama: It Gets Better
Info: Tragic Events

Complete Guide: Understanding Bullying

Guide to LGBTQ Cyberbullying

Gay Bashing

Broadway Sings for the Trevor Project: It Gets Better

Info: Hate Crimes

Bullying is Never OK: Powerful Viral Video

Bisexual Teen Dies by Suicide After Being Outed On-Line

Common Myths About Bullying

Info: Encouragement for LGBTQ Youth in Crisis

Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide

The Bully Project

 

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