Queer Cafe

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Higher Healthcare Costs:
LGBTQ individuals also face higher healthcare costs compared to their heterosexual counterparts. Studies have shown that LGBTQ individuals are more likely to be uninsured or underinsured, which can lead to higher out-of-pocket expenses for medical care. Additionally, LGBTQ individuals are more likely to experience mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, which can further increase healthcare costs.

Family Rejection:
Family rejection is another significant financial challenge faced by LGBTQ individuals. Many LGBTQ individuals are rejected by their families when they come out, which can lead to financial instability. Without the support of their families, LGBTQ individuals may struggle to access important resources, such as housing and education, which can impact their long-term financial well-being.

Lack of Financial Literacy:
Finally, many LGBTQ individuals lack the financial literacy skills needed to navigate the complex financial landscape. Studies have shown that LGBTQ individuals are less likely to have access to financial education and resources compared to their heterosexual counterparts. This lack of financial literacy can make it difficult for LGBTQ individuals to make informed financial decisions and plan for their future.

LGBTQ individuals and families face a range of unique financial challenges, from discrimination in the workplace to lack of legal protections and higher healthcare costs. These challenges can have a significant impact on an individual's financial stability and well-being. However, by addressing these issues and working towards greater equality and acceptance, we can create a more inclusive financial landscape for all.

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Social Security Benefits for Same-Sex Couples

In a historic ruling, in November 2021, same-sex partners and spouses can now claim Social Security survivors’ benefits. In 2018, Lambda Legal sued the Social Security Administration over policies that prevented surviving partners from receiving Social Security benefits.

Under the policy, a surviving partner could only apply for benefits if they had been married for nine months before their partner’s death. However, in states where gay marriage had recently been legalized, this was impossible. Plus, in the past, many surviving partners couldn’t file for benefits because their states prohibited them from being married at all.

Lambda Legal filed two lawsuits on behalf of same-sex couples who met either of these parameters. In 2020, the federal district courts in Arizona and Washington ruled the policies of excluding same-sex couples from survivors’ benefits were unconstitutional. But then-President Donald Trump appealed both cases.

The Justice Department and Social Security Administration, under the leadership of President Joe Biden, dismissed the appeals. Now, there is no “waiting period” to qualify for survivors’ benefits and same-sex partners will have equal access to Social Security survivors’ benefits.

“This is a historic development with immense implications: survivor’s benefits are now equally available to everyone, including potentially thousands of same-sex partners who could not marry their loved ones and may have thought it was futile to apply,” Lambda Legal Counsel Peter Renn said in a statement on the Lambda Legal website.

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Lesbian Couples Earn Less Income Than Straight and Gay Male Couples

Recent analysis of US Census data by the Brookings Institution has found that lesbian couples earn the lowest median family income as compared to both opposite-gender couples and gay male couples. This was true despite the fact that lesbian couples were more likely than straight couples to have traits that typically lead to higher incomes, including having two income-earners, living in a densely populated areas, and attaining higher education.

Conversely, gay male couples earn the most as compared to lesbian and heterosexual couples. The report found that average family income for gay married men is 31 percent higher than for married lesbian couples and 27 percent higher than for married straight couples.

For couples who are unmarried, the percentages are even higher. Gay men earn 36 percent more than unmarried lesbian couples and 38 percent more than unmarried straight couples.

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In its analysis, the Brookings Institution used data collected from the Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, the results of which were released in September 2020.

The study said it is the first time there has been national data available on same-gender couples since the Supreme Court decision in U.S. v. Windsor, which found that a clause of the Defense of Marriage Act banning federal recognition of same-sex marriages performed by states was unconstitutional.

The Brookings analysis also points out that the Census Bureau has released several analyses of its own saying that overall, same-gender married couples out-earn straight couples. While this is true when all same-gender couples are grouped together, splitting the couples into male versus female clearly tells a different story.

[Source: Molly Sprayregen, LGBTQ Nation, February 2022]

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Same-Sex Marriage and Taxes

On June 26, 2015, the Supreme Court settled the issue of same-sex marriage in the US with the landmark decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. This decision requires states to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples and for states to recognize such marriages that were performed in other states. Gay marriage became legal in all 50 states.

The governmental recognition of same-sex marriage means that same-sex couples can now enjoy the same rights and privileges that opposite-sex couples do. And the same responsibilities and potential pitfalls of marriage. Taxes are a prime example. Married same-sex couples must now consider the best tax filing status now that they have the options of “married filing jointly” and “married filing separately.” As with opposite-sex couples, the answer is not always straightforward.

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When spouses have a large disparity in their incomes, they can benefit from the “marriage bonus” of filing jointly. That has the effect of averaging out the incomes, lowering the tax burden on the higher-earning spouse a lot while raising the taxes on the lower-earning spouse slightly. The couple’s overall tax bill is then lowered as a result.

When spouses earn approximately the same amount of money, the effect depends on the amount of their collective income. Couples with more modest matching incomes are likely to pay about the same amount of tax as before, while higher-earning couples could run into the “marriage penalty” of ending up in such a high tax bracket that they would have been better off filing as singles.

Same-sex couples with higher incomes are more likely to itemize, and also have income levels where certain itemized tax deductions like mortgage interest, charitable contributions, and property taxes begin to phase out or disappear completely. On the other end of the income scale, combining incomes could make a couple ineligible for some tax credits and other low-income benefits. Unfortunately, the only good way to determine this is to calculate taxes both ways (joint and separate status).

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Same-sex couples in some states that did not recognize gay marriage prior to the ruling already have practice doing multiple returns. State taxes were not as straightforward prior to the ruling, because some states that did not recognize same-sex marriage required couples to file under single status even though their federal status was married filing jointly. The state definition of income in these states was tied to the federal definition, forcing the preparation of an extra “dummy” federal tax return for each partner just to define income for state tax purposes.

Same-sex married couples must also take the time to adjust all financial planning vehicles such as retirement plans, wills, and estate plans to denote the proper marriage and beneficiary status. Money or property transfers to a spouse are generally exempt from federal taxes, so failure to update your status correctly could be costly.

From now on, same-sex married couples have the same tax decisions to make that opposite-sex couples do. The Supreme Court decision provided clarity to their taxes.

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Adulting

"Favorite childhood memory: not paying bills."

-Meme

"If you're going to be a grown-up, you've got to start thinking about grown-up things. And number one is money."

-Julian Barnes

"Queer lives are notable for their lack of chrononormativity, starting in childhood. The very ways we understand growth are predicated on a legible and linear concept of maturation that many queer kids do not experience."
-Sara Jaffe

“It was so hard for a queer person to become an adult. They didn’t get married. They didn’t have children. They didn’t buy homes or have job-jobs. Those who claim queer as a political identity reject the heteronormative fantasy of adulthood."
-Michelle Tea

"Adulting is serious stuff. Yes, it is cool to be independent and getting to do your own thing. But with freedom comes responsibility. Where you are not just responsible for taking care of yourself or earning enough to pay your bills, but you are also responsible for facing life and dealing with its upheavals and surprises. There are no right or wrong ways to face Life. Everyone has to do what they believe they have to do at a particular moment and keep going."
-Avis Viswanathan

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"For queer people, conventional adulthood is not only inaccessible but undesirable. They thus develop a relationship to time itself that is decidedly queer."

-Sara Jaffe

"Queer uses of time and space develop in opposition to the institutions of family, heterosexuality, and reproduction. Queerness itself is an outcome of strange temporalities, imaginative life schedules, and eccentric economic practices. It is inflected by time-warping experiences as diverse as coming out, gender transitions, and generation-defining tragedies such as the AIDS epidemic. That is, queerness is constituted by its difference from conventional imperatives of time."

-Jack Halberstam

"Adulting" is now a verb. An actual word in its own right. The Urban Dictionary defines "adulting" as "to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as a 9-5 job, a mortgage, rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups." In 2019, the term "adulting" increased in usage by 700 percent on Twitter.

So, welcome to the real world, to adulthood, to the task of adulting, and to the practice of people who generally are adults, but don't see themselves that way, doing tasks like holding down a job, managing money, paying taxes, shopping for groceries, cooking meals, and doing laundry. So many things to do!

Mark Twain is often credited with saying, "Life is just one damn thing after another!" But it was Edna St. Vincent Millay who explained, "It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another. It’s one damn thing over and over again."

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What actually is adulting? In estoeric terms, it is when you begin to take responsibility for yourself, behave in a mature and independent way, and feel somewhat in control of your life. In practical terms, it is when food shopping replaces partying on Saturdays and Sundays. You and your partner are not out having drinks with your friends at the local gay bar. No, instead, you’re at the grocery store with your list of food to cook for the week ahead. Because you care about that now. Priorities.

Adulting is about financial literacy and becoming financially independent. It's about fiscal responsibility, paying bills, saving money, and managing a budget. It's about understanding things like job security, career planning, professional development, borrowing money, insurance, investments, real estate, mortgages, contracts, legal issues, healthcare, and planning for retirement. It might also be about marriage, children, adoption, and parenting. You know, the fun stuff in life. The stuff LGBTQ used to not have to worry about.

Or, perhaps we can relate to what one fabulous drag queen once exclaimed, "Adulting is too hard. Let's play something else!"

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Queer Our Taxes

Filing your taxes can be a complicated and intimidating process. For many LGBTQ people, the process is made even more unapproachable because tax software and tax preparation companies seldom have a clear understanding of the credits, deductions, and other issues that are most relevant for members of our community.

Finding a tax preparer with an in-depth understanding of the financial and personal lives of LGBTQ people can be difficult. That shouldn’t mean that you miss out on claiming credits and deductions that you’re entitled to receive.

Did you know?

--If you itemize, you may be able to deduct the out-of-pocket cost of transition-related care, including: surgery; reproductive health care, including abortion; and HIV-related care.

--The IRS checks your name and gender marker against the Social Security Administration’s database.

--If you adopt a child, you may be able to claim a credit to offset the costs of adoption up to $13,190.

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Financial Quotes

“Marriage equality gave me a sense of inclusion in mainstream society.”

– Gay Transgender Male, Millennial

“As an older person, I see a dramatic change in society. There is a comfort level and emotional security for LGBTQ people that I never thought I would see in my lifetime. I did not realize before how important the right to marry was. It includes people in society, allows them to participate as a family like everyone else.”

–Lesbian Female, Boomer

“We can now file our tax returns together instead of having to figure out how to divide everything up.”

–Lesbian Female, Gen X

“Filing taxes is simpler, because we can now file as legally married rather than filing separately. So we only fill out one tax form, rather than two (one per person). Our situation is also simpler because my husband is on my benefit plan (health insurance), which is paid for with my pretax earnings. When we had domestic partnership benefits, it was paid for with my post-tax earnings.”

–Transgender Male, Millennial

“I no longer have to worry about what will happen to my husband in the event of my death. His interests are protected now that we are married.”

–Gay Male, Boomer

“I was able to add my husband to my insurance policy.”

–Gay Male, Boomer

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How to be Fiscally Fabulous the Gay Way

We all want to be “Fiscally Fabulous,” don’t we? Renowned LGBTQ Financial Adviser David Rae provides some smart financial tips. It’s not just a problem for gay people, but when consumerism runs rampant it can stunt our futures. Here are a few tips to negotiate around those uncontrollable urges to keep up with the Fabulous Gay Joneses.

If you would rather look rich than actually become wealthy, then stop reading now. If, on the other hand you actually want help to reach your financial goals (you do have financial goals, don’t you?), here are a few tips that can help you maintain a great lifestyle while also enjoying that lifestyle going far into the future.

One of the great joys of our gay culture is a heightened appreciation of things; things to do, things to see, things to have, things to buy. And we particularly love the latest things. But the flipside of that coin is that it can be tough to keep spending under control. My favorite quote from the Fight Club movie sums it up perfectly: “We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.”

There is another way.

Fiscally Fabulous Gays spend less than they make

Seems pretty obvious, right? But don’t we all have at least one gay friend with a busy social life, heavy travel schedule and incredible wardrobe but with thousands of dollars of debt?

Repeat after me: Carrying balances on credit cards is a great way to kill your chances of creating wealth. It’s not how much you make, but how much you keep that drives wealth accumulation. Also, with no emergency fund, small balances on credit cards can quickly spiral out of control. By paying off your balance and eliminating having to pay credit card interest, you’ll actually have more money to spend in the long run.

Fiscally Fabulous Gays ignore the Joneses

We all suffer from some status envy, but often those status symbols are merely mirages. They’re not real. Living in West Hollywood, I can tell you that looks are deceiving. That gorgeous guy driving a Bentley may actually be living out of that Bentley too. And how many of the “Real Housewives” have had their cars or even houses repossessed? Not to mention jail time. Nothing to envy about that.

So only spend what makes sense for your pocketbook. And if you’re worried that you’ll lose friends because you’re not rocking the latest pair of $500 sunglasses, maybe it’s time to get some new friends.

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Fiscally Fabulous Gays brush up on their bargain-finding skills

Like a lot of gay people, I love to travel. I also love to get a great deal and often shop around for major purchases. (My husband counts himself lucky that I actually find this enjoyable.) Last year a few friends headed out for a trip. I bought my flight in advance and got a pretty good deal. One friend procrastinated and found himself stuck in a middle seat, squeezed between two hefty Midwesterners, for almost double what I paid. We both went to the same place but he got no added value for the extra expense.

A dollar saved is better than a dollar earned (and no taxes are due on savings). To think of it another way, the more you save in one area like flights, the more money you’ll have to spend on fun things like dinner with friends or, it kills me to say this, $500 sunglasses.

Fiscally Fabulous Gays understand that need and want are not the same thing

It really amazes me how often people confuse these two things. For example: “I want the new iPhone 10” is not the same as “My cell phone died, I need a new one.” Yes, it’s true. You read it here first.

Fiscally Fabulous Gays pay themselves first by saving automatically

Set up an automatic deposit into a saving account, retirement account or even a mutual fund. Make it automatic and treat it like it’s a bill. If you never see the money because it’s tucked safely away earning interest, it’ll less likely to tempt you into spending it.

You may be surprised how you don’t miss the money, and how quickly it adds up. You can even use this trick for short-term goals like a vacation. Think of how much more fun you could have knowing your Atlantis Cruise or Provincetown stay is paid in full, in advance and without coming home to a mountain of debt.

These are just a few basic steps you can take right now to help get you moving in the right direction financially, and on the road to true financial security. Working with a gay fiduciary financial planner to map out your financial goals can help you get on track to setting and achieving your goals.

Whether you are just entering the work force, about to retire or anywhere in between, the best advice I can give you now is to get your head out of the sand, pay yourself first and start accumulating wealth now. Being a fiscally fabulous gay may be more challenging for some than others. But hey, who says you’re not up for a challenge? No one’s ever said “I wish I had I’d starting saving later or saved less.” Ever.

[Source: David Rae, Certified Financial Planner, Accredited Investment Fiduciary, Trilogy Financial, Los Angeles, April 2017]

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LGBTQ Friendly Financial Institutions

They may be vilified for debit card fees and shoddy mortgage loans, but big banks are among the most LGBTQ-friendly places to work, a new study finds.

Bank of America, JPMorgan Chase, Citigroup and Wells Fargo are among the nearly 200 business that received a 100 percent score in the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index, a yearly survey, which evaluates the relative LGBTQ-friendliness of companies based on a variety of factors, including their benefits offerings and engagement with the LGBTQ community. The financial sector ranked higher than many others, according to the survey.

When the HRC began conducting the survey a decade ago, only 13 companies got a top score. Nearly 90 percent of the businesses in the study offer domestic partner health benefits and more than one-third provide a transgender-inclusive health insurance plan. The number of Fortune 500 companies offering domestic partner benefits has increased 75 percent since 2002, the study found.

Wells Fargo became the first American bank to feature an LGBTQ couple in a national TV campaign.

Here is a list of LGBTQ friendly financial institutions, including banks, investment firms, financial planners, and insurance companies:

Accenture

Aetna

American Express

Ameriprise

Bank of America

Bank of New York Mellon

Barclays Capital

Capital One

Charles Schwab

Citigroup

Deloitte

Deutsche Bank

Ernst & Young

JP Morgan Chase

KPMG

MetLife

Morgan Stanley

Pricewaterhouse Coopers

Prudential

Sun Life

TIAA

US Bancorp

UBS

Wells Fargo

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LGBTQ Newlyweds: Life After the Wedding

I’ve been gay my whole life, a Certified Financial Planner for well over a decade, coupled with my sweetheart for six years and married to him for 13 months and counting. From this perspective, I’d like to share a few tips for a happy, healthy and successful marriage with my LGBTQ brethren. While less experienced at marriage (so far), I do have considerable background as a Financial Planner working with LGBTQ couples to the point that it has become my specialty.

As a community, our relationships face a unique set of challenges. Fortunately, lack of legal recognition is no longer a major issue (while I’m not naïve to think discrimination is finished, the tide has shifted dramatically, and permanently, in our favor). But newfound marriage equality is forcing many couples to deal with issues they may have been able to previously ignore.

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At the same time, all married couples face challenges directly or indirectly related to money and finances. I would never claim to have all the answers to every marriage problem. But here are some significant ways to help reduce the likelihood of money woes jeopardizing your relationship.

Plan, Plan, Plan

Capable couples communicate about money early and often. Ideally, I’d like to see you have a financial plan in place before you tie the knot. Working on (and working out) a financial plan together can preemptively diffuse monetary time bombs and future chaos. Avoiding conversations about your finances now exponentially increases your chances of some small bump in the road turning into a larger issue later. Essential topics include kids, where to live, how much to save and credit card management.

Figure Out How To Split Expenses

Find an arrangement that works for you as a couple. Some couples work a 50-50 split while others share expenses based on the size of their incomes. The important thing is to have an arrangement that you both find fair and that works for you. Not taking this step can easily lead to resentment or fights over spending in other areas.

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Get Your Policies And Paperwork In Order

You are now a married couple with legally recognized rights and obligations. Make sure your beneficiaries are up to date. Obtain the proper amounts of life insurance, and consider disability and long-term care insurance. Also remember you will now most likely be filing your taxes jointly. So be strategic with retirement plan contributions and other potential spousal benefits that may be available to you now.

Expect The Unexpected

Life happens. Odds are, if you are together long enough, someone will get sick or laid off, a car will break down, or some other emergency will pop up. Being prepared and having an emergency fund will help keep you on track for your financial goals, reduce the odds of having to cancel the “fun” parts of your plan and reduce the financial stress in the household. At the very least, a nice financial cushion will help to ensure that much-needed last minute trip to Puerto Vallarta won’t end up piling up interest on a credit card.

Figure In The Fun

If you can afford it, also set aside money for the memory-making good times like vacations, adventures on your bucket list or all-out binges on holiday gifts. Getting into the habit of saving becomes easier when you also include something fun and exciting in the mix. As essential as it is, it may be hard for you two to get excited about contributing to a retirement that could be 20 or 30 years away. But knowing you’re also saving up for a trip to Hawaii next winter might help keep things on track. (Mind you, neither one should come at the expense of the other. But you knew that, right?)

Watch The Waistline Along With The Bottom Line

Many of our newly married friends (gay and straight) seem to pack on a few extra pounds in their first years of marriage. Do yourself a favor and limit the dining out and ordering in. Your waistline, your wallet and your svelte 90-year-old self will thank you for it. Let the good times roll, for sure, but keep up with the crunches, too.

Take Action Now

If you procrastinate and don’t act on your financial plan, even the most expert guidance on the planet is irrelevant. The best advice I can give is to get your head out of the sand and start building your financial lives together now, no matter how long you’ve been together. Consider contacting a professional who can help with your specific situation and time frame. Putting a plan in place and saving for your goals means that you won’t outlive your financial resources and are well positioned to live happily ever after.

[Source: David Rae, Certified Financial Planner, Accredited Investment Fiduciary, Trilogy Financial, Los Angeles, November 2016]

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