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LESBIAN
 

Wikipedia: Definition of Lesbian

Am I Really Proud to Be a Lesbian?

Ten Things Lesbians Hate to Hear

Info: Sexual Orientation

You Tube: Notable Lesbians

Info: LGBTQ Community

Music Video: I Wish You Were Gay

Candid Answers to Questions About Lesbian Sex

Video List: Most Famous Lesbians in History

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Lesbian Sex

Epochalips: Smart Lesbian Commentary

 

Definition

 

The word “lesbian” describes a woman who is romantically, emotionally, and/or sexually attracted to or involved with other women. As a sexual orientation, it can be further defined as an innate, enduring, inherent, and immutable pattern of feelings and behavior in which a woman has an affectional, romantic, emotional, spiritual, sensual, and/or sexual affinity or desire for other women. Clinically speaking, it refers to homosexual women. Some women prefer to use the term "gay."

 

Other terms related to the word "lesbian" include... Women Having Sex With Women (WSW) and Women Loving Women (WLW).

 

Video List: Most Famous Lesbians in History

Old Lesbians Give Advice to Young Lesbians

Info: Sexual Orientation

Famous Black Lesbians You Should Know

Metro Station: I Think She Likes Girls

Info: LGBTQ Community

Essential Lesbian Guide to Flirting

Candid Answers to Questions About Lesbian Sex

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Lesbian Sex

Video Montage 1: Lesbian Love and Kisses

Slate: Some Young Women Don't Like Lesbian Label

Mental Health Issues Lesbian Women Cope With

Late Bloomers: It's Never Too Late to Be a Lesbian

 

History
 

Lesbian as a concept, used to differentiate women with a shared sexual orientation, is a 20th-century construct. Throughout history, women have not had the freedom or independence to pursue homosexual relationships as men have, but neither have they met the harsh punishment in some societies as homosexual men. Instead, lesbian relationships have often been regarded as harmless and incomparable to heterosexual ones unless the participants attempted to assert privileges traditionally enjoyed by men.

 

As a result, little in history has been documented to give an accurate description of how female homosexuality has been expressed. When early sexologists in the late 19th century began to categorize and describe homosexual behavior, hampered by a lack of knowledge about lesbianism or women's sexuality, they distinguished lesbians as women who did not adhere to female gender roles and designated them mentally ill.

 


 

Origin of the Word Lesbian

Ten Things Lesbians Hate to Hear

You Tube: Notable Lesbians

Info: Women and Feminism

Video: Girl Picking Up Girls

BuzzFeed: Lesbian Stereotypes

Video Montage 2: Lesbian Love and Kisses

Candid Answers to Questions About Lesbian Sex

Lesbian Couples: Somewhere Only We Know

Music Video: Girl Crush

Welcome to the Gay Woman Channel

Healthy Place: Myths About Lesbians

 

Women in homosexual relationships responded to this designation either by hiding their personal lives or accepting the label of outcast and creating a subculture and identity that developed in Europe and the United States. Following World War II, during a period of social repression when governments actively persecuted homosexuals, women developed networks to socialize with and educate each other. Greater economic and social freedom allowed women gradually to be able to determine how they could form relationships and families. With second wave feminism and growth of scholarship in women's history and sexuality in the 20th century, the definition of lesbian broadened, sparking a debate about sexual desire as the major component to define what a lesbian is.

 

Women generally exhibit greater sexual fluidity than men and find it easier to become physically and emotionally intimate with the same sex than men do. Some women who engage in homosexual behavior may reject the lesbian identity entirely, refusing to identify themselves as lesbian or bisexual. Other women may adopt a lesbian identity for political reasons. Greater understanding of women's sexuality has led to three components to identifying lesbians: sexual behavior, sexual desire, or sexual identity.
 

 

Portrayals of lesbians in the media suggest that Western society at large has been simultaneously intrigued and threatened by women who challenge feminine gender roles, and fascinated and appalled with women who are romantically involved with other women. Women who adopt a lesbian identity share experiences that form an outlook similar to an ethnic identity: as homosexuals, they are unified by the discrimination and potential rejection they face from their families, friends, and others. As women, they face concerns separate from men. Lesbians may encounter distinct physical or mental health concerns. Political conditions and social attitudes also affect the formation of lesbian relationships and families.

 

Welcome to the Gay Woman Channel

Metro Station: I Think She Likes Girls

Info: LGBTQ Community

Late Bloomers: It's Never Too Late to Be a Lesbian

Essential Lesbian Guide to Flirting

Candid Answers to Questions About Lesbian Sex

Lesbian Dating Tips: How to Flirt With a Girl

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Lesbian Sex

Slate: Some Young Women Don't Like Lesbian Label

Nobody by Jade Novah and Cynthia Erivo

Giving Up My Love of Long Nails?

Video Montage 3: Lesbian Love and Kisses

Gay Girl Dating Coach
 

 

Eat Pray Love

Being lesbian is a religion. It’s feast, fast, or famine. It’s on our knees begging at the altar between her knees. It’s our tribe, our gaggle of gay girls, and our fighting to be included in some social club, meetup, Facebook group, marriage rights, equal rights and more, or hiding in social awkwardness afraid of that demon called rejection. We portion out our psychic energy and our daily allotted 24 hours in this religion of being lesbian and we eat... we pray... we love.

Eat lesbian, eat! Help yourself to delicious lesbian fare. Feel the connection to our global tribe and when you’re full you can push away from this gorgeous table of wise women fare to go live. Be about the business of living and learning; growing and becoming more of your fabulous and amazing self. The wisdom you consume from the lives of other's experiences is the fuel that helps you find direction, meaning, gumption and guts to keep going. Don’t stop eating lesbian wisdom.

 

 

Pray lesbian, pray! On our knees, we pray for a great relationship, we pray for equal rights, we pray for those women we want and don’t have. We pray about the one we do have wishing she might be this or that. We pray and rejoice when that ecstatic feeling of love shows up pulling back the covers on our dreams. We pray in our loneliness to find someone. We pray in our pain to let go of the one who isn’t ours anymore. We pray to move on. We pray to find sense in the world. We find the prayer of laughter, the prayer of thoughtfulness, the prayer of found love, the prayer of experience making, the prayer of failed love, the prayer of faith in the goodness of life. Don’t stop praying.

Love lesbian, love! The more time you spend traveling the country and meeting lesbians from all over the world, the more you are confirmed that lesbian culture is messy, full of drama, alive with misunderstandings, misplaced egos, failed dreams, good and bad relationships and the more you love it. We are as human and common in our foibles as any straight folks can be and we are as uniquely special in our love as every individual human being is. Lesbian love is messy but more important is that our love is powerful. It’s life changing and we need more of it. The world needs more of our lesbian love. Don’t stop seeking to create more lesbian love.

Eat... Pray... Love... Lesbian... Be proud. Have no shame. Embrace it, be it and share it. The religion of being lesbian.


[Source: Mary Gorham Malia, Founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach, Gay Girl Love Tour, and Live Your Best Lesbian Life Global Telesummit]

 

 

Video: Famous Lesbians

Redefining Butch-Femme Relationships

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Lesbian Sex

Video Montage 4: Lesbian Love and Kisses

Gay Girl Dating Coach
Short Film: To My Future Girlfriend

Lesbians You'll Date Before You Die

100 Years of Lesbianism

Lesbian Dating 101

Slate: Some Young Women Don't Like Lesbian Label

Jezebel: Girl's Guide to Lesbian Clichés and Stereotypes

Lesbian Dating 101

Essential Lesbian Guide to Flirting

Ten Things Lesbians Hate to Hear

Video Montage: Best Lesbian Kisses

 

Pressures of Being a Lesbian

Lesbian women face unique mental health issues (in addition to the ones all members of the LGBTQ community face) because they exist in a marginalized section of an already marginalized community. Exploring the effects of discrimination and prejudice only scratches the surface of their mental health challenges.

More so than other members of the LGBTQ community, lesbian women feel pressure to identify and label themselves with terms they are not necessarily comfortable with. This pressure comes from heterosexuals, gay men, the gay bar scene, on-line dating sites, the media and other lesbian women. Terms like Femme, Alpha, Butch, and Lipstick Lesbian can be frustrating for some lesbian women.

 

Even the word “lesbian” can be controversial. Should we say “lesbian,” “lesbian women,” “gay women” or maybe something else? There isn’t a correct answer or anything close to a consensus in the lesbian community. These identity and labeling issues cause stress and contribute to the social isolation lesbian women deal with.

“Feminist” is another label people pressure lesbians to consider. There are historical and current conflicts between lesbian feminism, mainstream feminism and radical feminism. This makes many lesbian women reluctant to engage in the conversation of feminism or consider feminism part of their identity.

 



People (usually heterosexuals) often make several assumptions about lesbian women that contribute to unwelcomed stereotypes: They hate men. They have “daddy issues.” They are more masculine than heterosexual women. Men molested them as children. There needs to a be a “man” in a lesbian relationship. Lesbians haven’t met the right man yet. Lesbian sex doesn’t count as “real sex.” Lesbians dress like men. Lesbians are not physically attractive. They are more interested in sports. They drive SUVs. They push commitment and establish their romantic relationships too quickly. They are “crazy.”
They are trying being with women as some sort of trendy experiment rather than a legitimate sexual preference.

 

Lesbians You'll Date Before You Die

Biggest Lesbian Party in the World

Famous Black Lesbians You Should Know

Music Video: I Wish You Were Gay

Redefining Butch-Femme Relationships

Video Montage 5: Lesbian Love and Kisses

How Do You Know You're a Lesbian

Lesbian Love Songs: Women Singing About Women

Short Film: To My Future Girlfriend

Things Lesbians are Tired of Hearing

BuzzFeed: Lesbian Stereotypes

 

 

 

The L Word

"
Lesbian" isn't a dirty word and more millennials need to use it. The straight male world has convinced young women the L word is a slur.

Some gay women do not feel comfortable calling themselves a lesbian.  From a social perspective, the idea of being a woman not attracted to men can be initially terrifying. There’s the idea of having to overcome a multitude of social obstacles, from being stared at when you walk hand-in-hand with the person you love to having to wonder how you’re going to have children. The same is true for men who find themselves only attracted to men. But why do many millennial men appear comfortable calling themselves "gay," while millennial women shun the term "lesbian"?

It has been observed that many millennial girls who have romantic and sexual feelings only toward other women use the terms “gay” or “queer,” while running away from “lesbian.” Perhaps society has told us that “lesbian” is a bad word.

 


 

Wikipedia: Definition of Lesbian

Ten Things Lesbians Hate to Hear

Why Being a Lesbian is Amazing

Giving Up My Love of Long Nails?

You Tube: Notable Lesbians

Lesbian Dating Tips: How Can You Tell If a Girl Likes You

Curve: Five Types of Lesbians

Lesbian Dating 101

Mental Health Issues Lesbian Women Cope With

Info: Sexual Orientation

Jezebel: Girl's Guide to Lesbian Clichés and Stereotypes

 

The word "lesbian" has been villainized in the media because lesbians serve no purpose to the people who control it. A 2017 University of Southern California study showed that 96 percent of the top 100 movies made in the past 100 years were directed by men, while a 2016 study from Variety showed that almost 80 percent of showrunners for new scripted shows were men.

The result is two lesbian stereotypes becoming visible in movies and television — that of the oversexualized, two-dimensional woman who serves only to satisfy some pornographic fantasy of a straight man, and that of a bland, largely disinteresting woman who serves just as hollow a purpose. The former is the projection of the only way a lesbian can serve as meaningful to a straight man, and the latter is the straight man’s reaction to a woman being completely uninterested in him sexually by making her as boring and unimportant to the plot as possible.

At its root, lesbianism represents something beautiful. Being a woman attracted to women. Being a woman who can only fall in love with other women. That used to be something terrifying. Now it is exciting.

 

 

The label “lesbian” does not have to be what the media has molded it into. Accepting that you don’t have any attraction to men is not something that should feel limiting and scary. Once you accept and understand it, being a lesbian is something that can open you up to so many different possibilities, including a community ready to embrace you.

"Lesbian" is a word that represents something beautiful, and the more girls and women feel comfortable using it, the harder it’s going to be for the world to villainize an identity rooted in love.

 

[Source: Mary Grace Lewis / Advocate Magazine / July 2018]

 

Wikipedia: Definition of Lesbian

Ten Things Lesbians Hate to Hear

Essential Lesbian Guide to Flirting

Why Being a Lesbian is Amazing

Video Discussion: My First Relationship With a Woman

You Tube: Notable Lesbians

Welcome to the Gay Woman Channel

Lesbian Couples: Somewhere Only We Know

Curve: Five Types of Lesbians

Epochalips: Smart Lesbian Commentary

Giving Up My Love of Long Nails?

Lesbian Dating 101

 

 

More Than Sexuality

Do you have an "affectional preference" for female companionship”? Hey, world, big news! Gay people are more than our sexuality. It can be downright annoying to be defined by one part of our humanity.

I may live in rural America, but I am not a walking, talking letter “Q” for queer. Not an advertisement for a lifestyle. Not a representation of what-dykes-look-like. Not an object of study or fascination. Not a target of foul words, flung mud, or physical violence.

I am a lover of women, but that encompasses a heck of a lot more than sexual expression. When I was younger even I didn’t know that was true. I didn’t know I could love a woman friend without intimate touch. I believed the homo-hating hype that coming out made me one-dimensional.


Today, we can see photos of people like us who are unencumbered by stereotypes. We watch gay people become champion athletes, TV and film and theater stars, heads of corporations, politicians. I like to think all our efforts have helped to provide solid groundwork for gay lives to be fulfilling.

 


 

It is time to look at how language continues to be one of our stumbling blocks. Change is already happening. Little by little a majority of Americans are becoming respectful of gay people, are realizing they need not focus conversation on gay matters. They are finding out that we are not threats and that we have more in common with them than not.

Both gays and non-gays need new language for the concept that we are the family next door, the gal who pumps gas, the transgender head of the corporation. We need to move beyond words that mark us in a solely sexual way.

I’ve been using the phrase affectional preference. While I enjoy the company of some men, mostly gay men, my closest friends and family are women. If I’m going out somewhere, I go with women. If I join an organization, it’s more likely to be woman-centered than co-ed. If I exercise or swim, I like to do so in the company of women. I do business with women, preferably gay. There is no sexual component in any of those activities. Why am I the only one with a sexual label in a room full of non-gay women who’ve gathered for lunch? I have affection for these women, not attraction to them.

 



In my marriage, of course there is the kind of intimacy that would scare straight boys. But, we just might be sitting in our living room discussing our day and reading. Or cooking dinner and doing the dishes. We might even be doing the laundry, cleaning the toilets, filling the bird feeders. So call us bird lovers, cooks, readers. Our passion for birds and books have nothing to do with sexual preferences. We simply like to share everyday life together as two loving women.

Let’s stop sexualizing ourselves and come up with words that reflect the greater percentage of our days and ourselves—if we have to be labeled at all. Please note, it’s not the sex itself I want to eliminate, it’s the restrictive branding.

[Source: Lee Lynch, Writer, Epochalips]

 

I Think I Might Be a Lesbian

Lesbian Coming Out at 40

Awesome Things About Lesbian Relationships

Lesbian Literature

Epochalips: Smart Lesbian Commentary

Music Video: I Need a Woman to Love

History of Lesbian Fashion

Lesbian Love Songs: Women Singing About Women

List: US Lesbian Periodicals

Why Being a Lesbian is Amazing

Short Film: To My Future Girlfriend

List: Worldwide Lesbian Periodicals

Great Big Lesbian Dictionary

Video Montage: Best Lesbian Kisses

Girls Just Being Hella Gay

Cosmo: Lesbians Reveal Exact Moment They Fell in Love

Video Discussion: My First Relationship With a Woman

 

Tribute to Sappho
 

The word "lesbian" is derived from the name of the Greek island of Lesbos, home to the 6th Century poet Sappho (612 BCE - 510 BCE). From various ancient writings, historians have gathered that a group of young women were left in Sappho's charge for their instruction or cultural edification. Not much of Sappho's poetry remains, but that which does reflects the topics she wrote about: women's daily lives, their relationships, and rituals. She focused on the beauty of women and proclaimed her love for girls. Before the late 19th Century, the word "lesbian" referred to any derivative or aspect of Lesbos, including a type of wine.

Sappho is the most famous female poet of antiquity, but only incomplete poems and fragments remain of her work. Most of Sappho's lyrical love poems were addressed to women. The Greek philosopher Plato called her the tenth Muse.

 

Facts about Sappho's life are scant. She was an aristocrat, who wrote poetry for her circle of friends, mostly but not exclusively women. She may have had a daughter. The term lesbian, her presumed sexual orientation, is derived from the name of her island home, Lesbos. The ancients had seven or nine books of her poetry. Only fragments survive; the longest is an invocation to Aphrodite asking her to help the poet in her relation with a beloved woman. Her verse is a classic example of the love lyric, and is characterized by her passionate love of women, a love of nature, a direct simplicity, and perfect control of meter.

In 1890, the term was used in a medical dictionary as an adjective to describe tribadism (as "lesbian love") and as the sexual gratification of two women by simulating intercourse. "Lesbianism" to describe erotic relationships between women had been documented in 1870. The terms were interchangeable with "Sapphist" and "Sapphism" around the turn of the 20th Century. The use of "lesbian" in medical literature became prominent.  By 1925, the word was recorded as a noun to mean the female equivalent of a sodomite.

 

Poetry Foundation: Sappho

New Yorker: Who Was Sappho?

Ancient History Encyclopedia: Sappho of Lesbos

Origin of the Word Lesbian

Wikipedia: Sappho


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