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Loving Relationships

 

"No matter who you love, no matter where you come from, you should always be proud of who you are."

-Ellen DeGeneres


"Love is a force of nature. Don't let anyone tell you it's wrong."

-Kerry Washington


"Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow."

-James Baldwin


"Pride is not only a celebration of our diversity but also an affirmation of the infinite possibilities we have when we embrace love and acceptance."

-Michael Sam

"Let's celebrate love in all its forms."

-Barack Obama

 

These LGBTQ Celebs Got Engaged in 2023

Colman Domingo Shares Romantic Story of How He Met His Husband

Cara Delevingne Credits Girlfriend Leah Mason for Feeling Happy and Comfortable
Singer Scott Hoying Marries Model Boyfriend Mark Manio
Ricky Martin and Jwan Yosef Divorcing After 6 Years of Marriage

Robin Roberts Says She Will Marry Her Partner of 18 Years
Jim Parsons Shares Secret to His Successful 20-Year Relationship with his Husband

 

Famous LGBTQ Couples

 

Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas

Willa Cather and Edith Lewis

Ismail Merchant and James Ivory

Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird

Pete Buttigieg and Chasten Glezman

Elton John and David Furnish

Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner
Wanda Sykes and Alex Niedbalski
George Takei and Brad Altman
Jim Parsons and Todd Spiewak
Rosie O'Donnell and Michelle Rounds
Mario Cantone and Jerry Dixon

Stephen Sondheim and Jeffrey Romley

Da Brat and Jesseca Dupart

Miriam Margolyes and Heather Sutherland

Billy Porter and Adam Smith

Raven-Symoné and Miranda Pearman-Maday

Samira Wiley and Lauren Morelli

Taylor Schilling and Emily Ritz

Matt Bomer and Simon Halls

Elliot Page and Emma Portner

Alan Cumming and Grant Shaffer

Kate Pierson and Monica Coleman

Matt Dallas and Blue Hamilton

Ashlyn Harris and Ali Krieger

Sam Smith and Brandon Flynn

Niecy Nash and Jessica Betts

Adam Rippon and Jussi-Pekka Kajaala

Cheyenne Jackson and Jason Landau

Lea DeLaria and Dalia Gladstone


 

Watch Sarah Paulson Gushes About Her Wise and Witty Girlfriend, Holland Taylor
Cara Delevingne Credits Girlfriend Leah Mason for Feeling Happy and Comfortable
Singer Scott Hoying Marries Model Boyfriend Mark Manio
Elliot Page and Mae Martin Get Matching Tattoos
Commentary: Why I Am Nobody's Wife

Buttigieg Thanks Husband During Senate Confirmation Hearings

Jojo Siwa Talks to Jimmy Fallon About Her Amazing Girlfriend

 

Edith Windsor and Thea Spyer

Jim Obergefell and John Arthur

Anderson Cooper and Benjamin Maisani
TR Knight and Mark Cornelson
Ellen Degeneres and Portia DeRossi
Brittany Griner and Glory Johnson

Jamal and Octavius Terry-Sims
Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry

Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent
Mario Cantone and Jerry Dixon
Jayne Lynch and Lara Embry

Maurice Sendak and Eugene Glynn

Brittany Griner and Cherelle Watson

Carl Nassib and Søren Dahl

Rebel Wilson and Ramona Agruma

Colton Underwood and Jordan C. Brown

Becky Armstrong and Sarocha Chankimha

Zachary Quinto and Miles McMillan

Annise Parker and Kathy Hubbard

Meredith Baxter and Nancy Locke

Brad Goreski and Gary Janetti

Dan Savage and Terry Miller

Lee Daniels and Jahil Fisher

Rufus Wainwright and Jorn Weisbrodt

Martina Navratilova and Julia Lemigova

Jonathan Bennett and Jaymes Vaughan
Cheyenne Jackson and Monte Lapka

Simon Woods and Christopher Bailey

TJ House and Ryan Neitzel

Braunwyn Windham-Burke and Jennifer Spinner

Chrishell Stause and G Flip

Gio Benitez and Tommy DiDario

Darren Hayes and Richard Cullen

John Whaite and Paul Atkins


 

Ricky Martin and Jwan Yosef Divorcing After 6 Years of Marriage

LGBTQ Celebs Who Celebrated Valentine's Day With Their Partners

Robin Roberts Says She Will Marry Her Partner of 18 Years

Same-Sex Celebrity Couples Who Put a Ring on It
Jim Parsons Shares Secret to His Successful 20-Year Relationship with his Husband

Elliot Page and Mae Martin Get Matching Tattoos

Buttigieg Thanks Husband During Senate Confirmation Hearings

Jojo Siwa Talks to Jimmy Fallon About Her Amazing Girlfriend

 

Johnny Weir and Victor Voronov

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black
Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Justin Mikita
Jodie Foster and Alexandra Hedison
Rosie O'Donnell and Michelle Rounds
Raven-Symone and Azmarie Livingston

Lance Bass and Michael Turchin
Mario Cantone and Jerry Dixon

Nathan Lane and Devlin Elliott

Lea DeLaria and Chelsea Fairless

David Hyde Pierce and Brian Hargrove

Cherry Jones and Sophie Huber

Lee Pace and Matthew Foley

Kristen Stewart and Dylan Meyer

Jonathan Bennett and Jaymes Vaughn

G Flip and Chrishell Stause

Chloe Grace Moretz and Kate Harrison

Abbi Jacobson and Jodi Balfour

Ellen Page and Samantha Thomas

Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne

Andy Mientus and Michael Arden

Anthony Wayne and Kendrell Bowman
George Michael and Kenny Goss
Bryan Batt and Tom Cianfichi
BD Wong and Rickie Jackson
John Barrowman and Scott Gill
KD Lang and Jamie Price

Victor Garber and Rainer Anderesen

Sarah Paulson and Taylor Holland

Da Brat and Jesseca “Judy” Harris-Dupart

 

Sexy Husbands of Gay Celebrities
Jennifer Aniston Interviews Ellen and Portia

Niecy Nash Marries Jessica Betts

Same-Sex Couples Who Don’t Mind the Age Gap
Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black: Best Moments

Suze Orman Talks About Her Wife and Soulmate

James Corden: Teaching Children About Gay Relationships

Gail and Audrey: Unexpected Love Story

Same-Sex Celebrity Couples Who Put a Ring on It

Paige and Holly: Relationship Problems

LGBTQ Celebs Who Celebrated Valentine's Day With Their Partners

Same-Sex Celebrity Couples Who Put a Ring on It
Commentary: Why I Am Nobody's Wife

Colman Domingo Shares Romantic Story of How He Met His Husband

 

Sean Hayes and Scott Icenogle

Orlano Cruz and Jose Manuel
RuPaul and Georges LeBar
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka

Chely Wright and Lauren Blitzer
Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd

Cara Delevingne and Annie Clark

Rachel Maddow and Susan Mikula

Carrie Brownstein and Taylor Schilling

Ben Platt and Noah Galvin

Sandra Bernhard and Sara Switzer
Janis Ian and Patricia Snyder

Chrishell Stause and G Flip

Amanda Bearse and Carrie Schenken

Keith Bynum and Evan Thomas

Luke Evans and Fran Tomas

Carol Leifer and Lori Wolf

Rickie Martin and Jwan Yosef

Robin Roberts and Amber Laign
Cynthia Nixon and Christine Marinoni

Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell

Manila Luzon and Mic J. Rez

Jillian Michaels and Heidi Rhoades

Cheyenne Jackson and Jason Landau

Ellen Corby (Grandma Walton) and Stella Luchetta

Will Geer (Grandpa Walton) and Harry Hay

Robin Roberts and Amber Laign

Mary Cheney and Heather Poe
Lauren Blitzer and Chely Wright
Kelly McGillis and Melanie Leis

Paige Howard and Holly Earith

Anthony Rapp and Ken Ithiphol

Colman Domingo and Raul Domingo


 

Selling Sunset Star Chrishell Gets Candid About Married Life with G Flip
Ricky Martin and Husband, Jwan Yosef, Announce Divorce
Cute Couple: Pics of Billy Porter & Adam Smith
Fabulous Queer Couples of the Past
Relationship Advice for Same Sex Couples

LGBTQ Celebrities and Their Other Halves
Raven-Symoné Opens Up About Living As Her Authentic Self
Weird and Annoying Questions Gay Couples Get Asked
Famous Gay Couples That Have Broken Up

Scientific Report: Gay Couples are Less Stressful

Notable Same Gender Couples from History
Pop Sugar: LGBTQ Celebrity Couples

Queer Couples Through History From Ancient Egypt to the White House
Alyson and Jazmyne

Famous LGBTQ Couples Who Broke Up

She Flew from Australia to England for a First Date
Queer Daze
 

 

Singer Scott Hoying Marries Model Boyfriend Mark Manio

Sexy Husbands of Gay Celebrities

How Gay Men’s Relationships Differ from Straight Relationships

Love Panky: Types of Relationships

Portia Talks About Falling in Love With Ellen

Whitney and Jade: How We Met

Info: LGBTQ Love

YouTube: Top Ten Sweetest Lesbian Couples Married

April and Tiffany: Wedding Highlights Video

Ranker: Coolest Gay Celebrity Couples

Taylor and Annicka: How Our Relationship Started

Video: Gay Hollywood Couples

Celebrity Lesbian Couples We Adore

Same-Sex Couples Who Don’t Mind the Age Gap
Gail and Audrey: Unexpected Love Story

 

Robin Roberts and Amber Laign Get Married


Robin Roberts is walking into 2023 saying ‘yes’ to marriage.

The Good Morning America host sat down with motivational speaker and author Gabby Bernstein in January 2023 and shared her hopes to wed her longtime girlfriend, Amber Laign, later this year.  In a video shared on Instagram, Bernstein is seen asking Roberts about her intentions for 2023. The GMA host replies, “I’m hesitating because I haven’t said it out loud yet. I’m saying ‘yes’ to marriage. We’re getting married this year.”

 


 

Robin Roberts Reveals That She And Amber Laign Are Planning To Marry
Robin Roberts Says She Will Marry Her Partner of 18 Years
Robin Roberts and Amber Laign Get Married


Bernstein encouraged Roberts to create a vision board for the wedding, meditate on it, and trust in the process. Roberts responded, “I’m meditating on the marriage, not the wedding.”

“All right, there you go, even better,” Bernstein added. “Thank you for teaching me now. Yes, meditate on the feeling of what it is that you want to cultivate not just on that day but in that union, and really bringing forth all that positive energy to that marriage.”

The couple has been together since 2005, which is when mutual friends set them up on a blind date. Even though this has been in talks for a while, wedding plans have been on pause while Laign battles with breast cancer. The couple announced the battle at the beginning of 2022. By July, Roberts announced that Laign had successfully undergone radiation and thanked supporters for their prayers and well wishes.

Roberts herself experienced breast cancer in 2007 and also battled a rare blood and bone marrow disease called myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS). The latter resulted in a bone marrow transplant in 2012. On Laign’s radiation, Roberts said, “I went through it twice, barely shed a tear. I’m in a puddle every time I think about what Amber is going through. But she is being so courageous and is handling it extremely well.”

[Source: Andrew Stillman, Out Magazine, January 2023]

 

Niecy Nash Marries Jessica Betts

LGBTQ Celebrities and Their Partners

Ricky Martin and Husband Jwan Yosef Divorcing After Six Years of Marriage
Elena Delle Donne and Amanda Clifton

LGBTQ Celebrities and Their Partners

Paige & Holly: Kissing Moments
Selling Sunset Star Chrishell Gets Candid About Married Life with G Flip

Fabulous Queer Couples of the Past

Lesbian Life: Tips for a Healthy Lesbian Relationship

Relationship Advice From Lesbian Couples

Pink News: Most Same Sex Couples Meet On-Line

Lesbian Guide to Being a Good Girlfriend

Music Video: I Wish You Were Gay

 

Dating Tips for Gay Men
 

Consider these tips to help gay and bisexual men make better choices about dating and relationships.

 

"Check in" with yourself to understand what’s behind your motivation for dating or being in a relationship. How much are you affected by others’ opinions of you based on whether you’re single? Do you feel more alive when you’re involved with another guy? Are you genuinely attracted to this guy? Are you reacting to feeling lonely or rejected?

Identify what kinds of experiences have been satisfying when dating or being in a relationship in the past. And what has left you wanting something else. How you've felt about past experiences can direct you to what will work for you in the future.

 


 

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black: Best Moments

In Style: LGBTQ Celebrity Married Couples

Rose and Rosie: Relationship Timeline

My Story: Blind Date

Relationship Success Tips for Coupled Gay Men

Bryan and Mwinga: Blind Date

Grindr Etiquette: Johnny Sibilly, Kevin Mchale, Ira Madison III
Famous Gay Couples That Have Broken Up

Psychological Signs Someone Likes You


Get in touch with what you value, what you need and what you desire in another guy and in a relationship. Without this awareness, you may well make choices that don’t satisfy what’s really important to you. This is your life... follow your bliss!

Recognize that dating or being in a relationship makes demands on you. Not only time, effort and sacrifice, it also demands that you reveal who you are to another guy. It's important to know how prepared you are to do this at this time in your life.

Timing is (almost) everything. Are you really ready to date or be in a relationship? Or are difficult life circumstances (dealing with significant health changes, substance use, experiencing oppression, grief over a loss) stressing your ability to handle the additional challenges of connecting with another guy?

Be aware of the power balance between you and the other guy. If you feel you have little power, how will you be able to negotiate what you need or desire? If you feel you have most of the power in a relationship (not an easy thing to recognize), will you be able to really hear what the other guy wants or desires?

People change over time (and so do relationships), particularly in the early stages of getting to know someone. It’s important to be prepared for the natural evolution of relationships and the first step towards this is to accept that change is inevitable.

 

"Amazing how gay men concentrate and focus on the physical attributes of other men. And yet, you don't hear many gay men talking about a man's intelligence, ability to communicate, his kindness, his compassion or his ability to care for others. Hey, I understand the appreciation of the physical, but why not temper that with what really matters? Heart. Spirit. Kindness. It might not be as fun to talk about, but I believe it's much, much more important."
-Mick Torres, author

 

Sexy Husbands of Gay Celebrities
Jennifer Aniston Interviews Ellen and Portia

Niecy Nash Marries Jessica Betts

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black: Best Moments

Suze Orman Talks About Her Wife and Soulmate

James Corden: Teaching Children About Gay Relationships

Gail and Audrey: Unexpected Love Story

Same-Sex Celebrity Couples Who Put a Ring on It

Paige and Holly: Relationship Problems

 

 
 

Before you begin to date or start a relationship, make sure friends and family are there for support. You’ll appreciate them helping you celebrate the highs and deal with the lows!

Recognize you have a choice in saying "yes" or "no" in any situation and that choosing to be single is a choice.

Be prepared for the feeling that dating or being in a relationship is not always easy. Many dates do not lead to an ongoing relationship and most relationships you’re in will not be the "final one." If this was true, we would all still be in our first relationship!


[Source: Greg Garrison, Counsellor, David Kelley Services]
 

Sexy Husbands of Gay Celebrities

Paige and Holly: I Wanna Marry You

Eight Types of Gay Guys I've Dated

Famous Gay Couples That Broke Up That You May Have Forgotten Even Dated

Sometimes I Wish I Was a Lesbian

LGBTQ Celebrities and Their Partners

Info: LGBTQ Love

Gay Therapy: What Gay Men Should Expect in a Relationship

Teamates: Justin and Brad

Ready for a Relationship? What Are the Signs?

Dan Savage: Gay Sex vs. Straight Sex

Cute Couple: Pics of Billy Porter & Adam Smith

 

 

Signs It’s Time for Couples Therapy, According to a Queer Relationship Therapist
Video Advice: Unique LGBTQ Dating Problems

Suze Orman Talks About Her Wife and Soulmate

Raven-Symoné Opens Up About Living As Her Authentic Self

Info: Sexual Activity

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black: Best Moments

Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor

My Love My Life: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Healthy Girl-Girl Relationship

Same-Sex Couples Who Don’t Mind the Age Gap
My Story: Blind Date

Love Panky: Types of Relationships

Common Lesbian Relationship Problems

Elena Delle Donne and Amanda Clifton

Queer Daze

 

Paige and Holly

Delightful On-Line Couple

 

Holly Earith is a famous YouTube Star, who was born in 1995 in the United Kingdom and moved to Canada at the age of 13. She and Paige had mutual friends and met during their first year at the University of Western Ontario. Holly is considered to be one of the richest YouTube Stars and listed on the most popular YouTube Star. Holly Earith net worth is approximately $1.5 Million. Paige Howard is the girlfriend of Holly Earith. In 2021 Paige proposed to her girlfriend Holly and the couple now is engaged. They bought a house back in 2021.

 



Paige and Holly are everyone's favorite lesbian couple and are very active on various social media platforms including YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. On their YouTube channel, which Paige and Holly started in 2018, fans can find videos connected to their daily life, personal stories, fashion, questions to ponder, fun and games, quizzes, and crazy discussions. They always seem to be having fun. 

 

As of 2022, their Youtube channel has more than 297 thousand subscribers, with 200 uploaded videos and more than 44 million total number of views. As of 2022, their Instagram community has exceeded 75 thousand followers. As for Twitter, the young influencers joined this platform in 2018, and currently the channel has about 12 thousand followers. On their TikTok platform the couple shares funny videos, pranks and trendy videos. The audience exceeds 85 thousand.

 

Paige and Holly: YouTube Channel

Paige and Holly: How We Became Girlfriends

Paige and Holly: Kissing Moments

Paige and Holly: Our First Time

Paige and Holly: Hugs and Cuddles

Paige and Holly: I Wanna Marry You

 

Longtime Filmmaker Couple: Merchant and Ivory

Merchant Ivory Productions is a film company founded in 1961 by producer Ismail Merchant (1936–2005) and director James Ivory (born 1928). Merchant and Ivory were partners from 1961 until Merchant's death in 2005. During their time together they made 44 films. The films were for the most part produced by Merchant and directed by Ivory, and 23 of them were scripted by Ruth Prawer Jhabvala (1927–2013) in some capacity. The films were often based upon novels or short stories, particularly the work of Henry James, EM Forster, and Jhabvala herself.

 

 

James Ivory: My 44 Year Relationship With Ismail Merchant

Merchant and Ivory Film Production

Biographical Notes: Ismail Merchant

IMDB: Ismail Merchant

Merchant and Ivory: Secret Hollywood Couple

IMDB: James Ivory

Biographical Notes: James Ivory

Merchant Ivory Returns Without Merchant

Merchant and Ivory: Like Elio and Oliver


James Francis Ivory is a gay American film director, producer, and screenwriter, born in California.
Ismail Merchant, born Ismail Noor Muhammad Abdul Rahman, in Bombay, was a gay Indian film producer, director, and screenwriter.

 

Merchant and Ivory met in 1959. In May 1961 they formed the film company Merchant Ivory Productions. Together, they are famous for such films as Howards End (1992), A Room with a View (1985), and The Remains of the Day (1993). Their films won six Academy Awards.

 

Merchant and Ivory were long-term life partners. Their professional and romantic partnership lasted 44 years, from 1961 until Merchant's death in 2005. Their partnership has a place in Guinness Book of World Records for longest partnership in independent cinema history.  In 2018, at the age of 89, James Ivory became the oldest Academy Award winner for his film Call Me By Your Name, starring Timothee Chalamet and Armie Hammer.

 

Huff Post: How Gay Men’s Relationships Differ from Straight Relationships

News Day: Gay Celebrity Couples

Paige and Holly: Hugs and Cuddles
Fabulous Queer Couples of the Past

My Love My Life: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Famous Gay Couples That Broke Up That You May Have Forgotten Even Dated
Cory and Davonta: How We Met

YouTube: LGBTQ Celebrity Couples

Selling Sunset Star Chrishell Gets Candid About Married Life with G Flip

Corey and Russ: How We Met

Paige & Holly: Kissing Moments

 

 

 

Tips for a Healthy Lesbian Relationship

Happy, Healthy Lesbian Couples

 

Good relationships don't just happen, they take dedication and work. But you also need to know what to work at. Here are some tips for a happy and healthy lesbian relationship.

Don't Expect to Get Your Needs Met  -  Expecting someone else to meet your needs is a failed concept. Instead, focus on taking care of yourself and what you can do to support your partner. This will bring out the best in both of you.

Establish Meaningful Rituals  -  Whether you take a walk after dinner each night or make pizza together every Friday night, establishing rituals allows you to stay in touch with each others' lives. Make dates on Saturdays or even just doing regular household chores together, like cleaning or grocery shopping helps keep you connected.

 


 

Psychological Signs Someone Likes You

Relationship Advice for Same Sex Couples

Cory and Davonta: How We Met

Weird and Annoying Questions Gay Couples Get Asked
Paige and Holly: Our First Time
Notable Same Gender Couples from History

Alyson and Jazmyne


Work on Improving Yourself  -  For a relationship to be healthy, you need to grow and change. Work on yourself and also on trying to be a better partner. Try on new behaviors. Take some risks.

Have More Positive Than Negative Interactions  -  Try to have a five-to-one ratio of positive to negative interactions. Give more compliments, hugs, affection and appreciation than negative comments or blaming. Better yet, try to eliminate negative comments all together.

Surprise Her  -  Keep things exciting with surprises. Take her on a special date night, sneak a love note into her briefcase, send her flowers, bring her lunch at work. Buy her tickets to her favorite musician or write her a song and sing it to her while she's in the tub. Surprises little and big are important to keeping things fresh.

 



Take Care of Yourself  -  No one is a good partner if they're stressed out and unhappy. Make sure you take the time for yourself to stay healthy. Eat right, exercise, do yoga, take alone time when you need it. The better you feel about yourself, the more you're going to be able to give to your relationship.

Develop Common Interests  -  Nothing kills a relationship faster than sitting around on a couch, looking at each other with bored looks on your faces. You're going to be spending a lot of time together, get involved in something that excites both of you. It can be golfing, traveling or volunteering at the local animal shelter. Find your common interests and develop them into pleasurable experiences.

 

Queer Daze

Relationship Advice From Lesbian Couples

Taylor and Annicka: How Our Relationship Started

Ready for a Relationship? What Are the Signs?

Paige & Holly: Kissing Moments

Signs It’s Time for Couples Therapy, According to a Queer Relationship Therapist

Music Video: I Wish You Were Gay

Lesbian Guide to Being a Good Girlfriend

Same-Sex Couples Who Don’t Mind the Age Gap
 

 

Be Kind, Not Right  -  Whether you're right or wrong is not really the issue. Think about not being right, but about what you want, which is to have a loving relationship. Spend more time being kind and you'll argue less and enjoy each other more.

Fight Fair  -  When fights or arguments do happen, don't say things in the heat of the moment that may damage your relationship. Walk away to cool off and come back to the discussion later.

Make Alone Time a Priority  -  Your lives may get busy with work, children and social activities, but make sure you schedule in time each week for alone time. It's great if this time is something fun, like a date night or sexy time, but even just turning off the TV and sitting on the back porch and talking about your hopes for the future can bring you much closer together.

 

[Source: Kathy Belge, Lesbian Life Expert]
 

Love Panky: Types of Relationships

Cute Couple: Pics of Billy Porter & Adam Smith

Fabulous Queer Couples of the Past

Signs It’s Time for Couples Therapy, According to a Queer Relationship Therapist

Paige and Holly: Hugs and Cuddles
Famous Gay Couples That Have Broken Up

Info: Having Sex

Video Advice: Unique LGBTQ Dating Problems

Wedding Video: Amanda and Amber

Lesbian Life: Tips for a Healthy Lesbian Relationship

Famous Gay Couples That Broke Up That You May Have Forgotten Even Dated

Whitney and Jade: How We Met

Grindr Etiquette: Johnny Sibilly, Kevin Mchale, Ira Madison III

 

 

Video Advice: Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black: Best Moments

Jennifer Aniston Interviews Ellen and Portia

Queer Couples Through History From Ancient Egypt to the White House
Famous LGBTQ Couples Who Broke Up

Elena Delle Donne and Amanda Clifton

Info: Falling in Love

LGBTQ Celebrities and Their Partners

Raven-Symoné Opens Up About Living As Her Authentic Self

Jen and Judy: Someone to Stay

My Love My Life: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Info: Monogamy

 

 

Legendary Lovers: Gertrude and Alice

Gertrude Stein is an icon in the world of modern literature. Alice B. Toklas is often described as her partner and assistant, but she was a published writer as well, and “assistant” really doesn't cover how important she was to Stein’s life and work.
 

Five months after the devastating 1906 San Francisco earthquake, Toklas left the city and moved to Paris. On September 8, 1907, the day after she arrived in Paris, she met Gertrude Stein. This marked the beginning of a relationship which lasted for nearly four decades.

 

 
 

One of Literature's Great Loves: Alice Meets Gertrude

Strangers in Paradise: Gertrude and Alice

Gertrude Stein: Literary Icon

Bio: Alice B. Toklas

Alice B. Toklas: Gertrude Stein's Lover

NYT: Alice B. Toklas Obituary


Occupying that special invisible area historically reserved for homosexual partnerships, Gertrude Stein’s relationship with her "companion," Alice Babette Toklas, was never entirely out in the open, but nor was it hidden from view. Between Gertrude and Alice, however, the nature of the relationship was unshakably clear.

 

Stein called the relationship a marriage, and love notes made public in the 1970s reveal more about their intimate lives than they discussed publicly during Stein's lifetime. Stein's pet names for Toklas included "Baby Precious" and "Mama Woojums," and Toklas' for Stein included "Mr. Cuddle-Wuddle" and "Baby Woojums."

 

Together they hosted a salon in the home they shared that attracted expatriate American writers, such as Ernest Hemingway, Paul Bowles, Thornton Wilder, and Sherwood Anderson; and avant-garde painters, including Picasso, Matisse, and Braque.

 

Toklas and Stein remained a couple until Stein's death in 1946.

 

Fabulous Queer Couples of the Past

Relationship Advice for Same Sex Couples

Cory and Davonta: How We Met

Grindr Etiquette: Johnny Sibilly, Kevin Mchale, Ira Madison III

Famous LGBTQ Couples Who Broke Up

Paige and Holly: How We Became Girlfriends

Ready for a Relationship? What Are the Signs?

Weird and Annoying Questions Gay Couples Get Asked
Love Panky: Types of Relationships

Alyson and Jazmyne

 

LGBTQ Relationship Rules

Tips for Queer Couples

 

Relationships are challenging. They are not for the faint hearted. I just spent a month disseminating relationship and dating advice to single celebrities for E! Network’s new show, Famously Single, and I walked away feeling crystal clear that as members of the LGBTQ community, we definitely have our own set of challenges when it comes to dating and relationships. In an effort to help you bypass some of the most common mistakes our peeps make, I’ve compiled a list of important rules to follow:

 



--Be Equally Out or Closeted. You should only date people who are exactly where you are on the Coming Out Spectrum. To date someone who is at a different phase of coming out than you are will create a power struggle. The person who is further along in coming out will invariably be dissatisfied with the more closeted partner. I’ve seen it hundreds of times and it’s always the same story, though each couple hopes theirs will result in a different outcome, with the closeted partner assuring the out partner that she will eventually come out but that she’s just more of a ‘private’ person, and the out partner swearing that she doesn’t even care if her partner comes out — the important thing is that they’re together. This. Never. Works.

What happens is that both partners become fixed in their respective positions which results in a power struggle between the couple which then causes them to reach out to me for therapy and since I would rather walk through fire than deal with a couple, I send them to my wife, the Imago therapist.

 


 

Famous LGBTQ Couples Who Broke Up

Relationship Success Tips for Coupled Gay Men

Whitney and Jade: How We Met

Psychological Signs Someone Likes You

Sometimes I Wish I Was a Lesbian

Video Advice: Unique LGBTQ Dating Problems

LGBTQ Celebrities and Their Partners

Info: Monogamy


--Spend Some Nights Apart. We don’t get Boys’ Night Out or Girls’ Night Out by virtue of needing time alone with our same-sex friends because, well, we’re in a relationship with someone of the same sex. Which is precisely why it’s imperative that you establish a night alone from the beginning. I’ve seen so many clients who have been in a relationship for a year or more who wish they’d established this habit early on so that it didn’t feel like it was some sort of rejection of their partner later in the game. Time alone is one of the most important elements needed for sustaining a relationship. You need new stories to bring to your partner. It’s how we keep excitement in the relationship.

--Offer To Pay (Both of you). You’re the same sex, and until you’ve established a system for who pays for what, when you go out to dinner or entertainment venues, you both need to offer to pay.

--Do Not Talk About Your Ex. The heteros seem to understand this intuitively. We can learn from them. No one wants to hear your war stories. Specifically, don’t reference how they were in bed or how devastating the breakup was. I’m cringing just thinking about it.

 



--I have to split the genders here:

Women: Resist the urge to merge. Do not U-haul for a minimum of a year. I don’t care if you live in Manhattan and it just makes financial sense. It’s a recipe for disaster. Please. We can change this stereotype. And yes, I broke my own rule and u-hauled early on. I’m a lucky one. Do as I say.  I’ve seen it backfire more times than not.

Men: Label it. Call it what it is. If you want an open relationship, clearly express it to your partner. Likewise if you want a monogamous relationship. If you’re somewhere in the middle (perhaps you’d like to have sex with other partners but only with each other in the context of a 3-way) clarify that. I don’t care what your relationship model is. I’m open to all. But only with 100 percent honesty.

[Source: Dr. Darcy Sterling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Host of Famously Single, Huffington Post, Dec 2017]

 

My Love My Life: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Cute Couple: Pics of Billy Porter & Adam Smith

Info: Making Love

Video Advice: Unique LGBTQ Dating Problems

Jen and Judy: Someone to Stay

Wedding Video: Amanda and Amber

Signs It’s Time for Couples Therapy, According to a Queer Relationship Therapist

Lesbian Life: Tips for a Healthy Lesbian Relationship

Whitney and Jade: How We Met

Notable Same Gender Couples from History

Video Advice: Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate

Paige and Holly: Our First Time

Fabulous Queer Couples of the Past

 

 

 

Psychological Signs Someone Likes You

How do you know if someone has a crush on you?

They ask how your day has been
They ask for your advice
They give you a LOT of compliments
They look at you when you talk to them
They laugh at your jokes
They step up in romantic situations
They want to hang with you regularly
They tell others how great you are
They touch you a lot (without being creepy)
They make effort with your friends and family
They look beyond your appearance
They want to make plans about your future together
They’re happy to spend some one-on-one time with you
They call when they say they will
They’re not afraid to make the move
They take an interest in the things you like
They think about you when you are apart and send you things that remind them of you
They get a bit nervous around you
They smile at you a lot
They try to impress you
Your bodies touch during conversations
They try to catch your eye in group situations
They will ask about your past life and personal history

 

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Famous Gay Couples That Have Broken Up

Info: Falling in Love

Relationship Advice From Lesbian Couples

Taylor and Annicka: How Our Relationship Started

Music Video: I Wish You Were Gay

Queer Couples Through History From Ancient Egypt to the White House
Queer Daze

Famous Gay Couples That Broke Up That You May Have Forgotten Even Dated

Lesbian Guide to Being a Good Girlfriend

LGBTQ Celebrities and Their Partners

Info: Monogamy

 

Breaking Up

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.

Love is a battle, love is a war, love is a growing up."

-James Baldwin

 

My boyfriend and I just broke up. After a year and a half of loving and living together, we have decided that, for lack of all originality, we simply "weren't right for each other." I won't bore you with the specific reasons and events which brought this about, though I will say that there is rarely a single issue or action which ends a solid romance. The question at hand is why all of my relationships seem to break up, and more importantly why gay men seem to have so much trouble with keeping romantic relationships together.

First and foremost among the reasons is the homophobic stigma of the sad, depressed, ever-alone homosexual. It's what our parents always feared and fed us: by being gay we were throwing away all chances at happiness in the arms of a committed wife and family. It was a self-hating prophecy, one which robbed us of our hopes just as they were being kindled. Even I, stable-Mabel and ever-optimistic-in-romantic-affairs, fell victim to this societal trap: after every break-up I would wallow in pity and misery, bemoaning my gay inability to sustain a romance for longer than a month.

 


 

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Ready for a Relationship? What Are the Signs?


Of course, after a while I saw what a complete pile of crap this was, and how it was mostly in my (and everyone else's) head. That doesn't make it any less powerful: when people found out I had been going out with someone for a while, they raised eyebrows and questioned constantly "You're still together?" as if doubting that any gay man could stay with someone monogamously and not have it end in pain and heartache. Sometimes it seemed as if the whole world was conspiring against us, and this is a difficult hurdle to get over. Maybe this is why our relationships don't last.

 



Second, there's the sex that we as gay men must constantly have with each other. Another stereotype to be sure, but one which has grounding in truth. The simple fact is that we can find sex much easier than straight people can. I'm going on my own experience and the ready admittance of all of my straight friends and acquaintances. Call it what you will, we know who's gay, we know how to hook up sexually, and we're not afraid to do it. With such ease and availability of sex, staying committed in a relationship can prove difficult for many of us. 

Still, sex is often messy for us (in many ways) and if it's indeed true that men have a greater biological and instinctual need for sex than women, then two men together in a monogamous relationship is doubly more difficult. Perhaps this is why our relationships don't last.

Third, gay men have not had an open history of committed couples to look back upon. There are no great historical couples or romances from which to draw hope and inspiration. Heterosexuals are constantly reminded of successful romance. Almost everything in the entertainment world revolves around heterosexual love, from the very first Victorian novels of the 19th century to the cinematic super-couples of the 1930's to the lovey-dovey sitcoms of the 1960's all the way to the ballads of the boy bands today, where a "girl" must be mentioned at least seven times per song to ward off any gay rumors.

 

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Pop Sugar: LGBTQ Celebrity Couples

In Style: LGBTQ Celebrity Married Couples

Bryan and Mwinga: Blind Date

Video Advice: Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate

LGBTQ Celebrities and Their Partners

Info: LGBTQ Love

Sexy Husbands of Gay Celebrities

 

Gay men in successful relationships certainly did exist, but no one talked about it, including the gay men themselves. Only recently have we begun to look back on old diaries and writings and decipher what exactly is meant by "special friend" or "roommate." Then again it may be a mistake to attribute our romantic failures today to the lack of role models in the past: prior to the sixties and seventies there was barely a public gay anything, and we seem to have had no problem in refuting that. Even so, we have not had any prominent gay couples thus far to prove that we can do it. Could this lack of a gay-couple history be why our relationships don't last?


Finally, the reason for our failed long-term romantic endeavors may be the law: only until recently it just wasn't legal for many of us to get married where we lived. Such inherent homophobic oppression is a heavy burden on the most stable of gay relationships, and whether or not we know better, the fact that our unions were not recognized legally can still take an expensive toll. A healthy, happy marriage is difficult enough, denying us the chance to even try is an attempt to keep us alone and unhappy. Maybe people are simply afraid that gay couples will prove to be better at being married than straight couples, just as we have proven to be better parents (if people can bring themselves to acknowledge the latest studies.)

Now, I realize that marriage is in no means a guaranteed way of staying together, as straight people have proven over and over again, but it is one more way in which we are denied the rights of heterosexuals, and one more way in which the cards are stacked against us. This must be why our relationships don't last.

 

Which brings me to my latest break-up, and a revisiting of my past six break-ups. They don't seem to have happened because of the reasons just proffered. None of those reasons seems important enough to have been the sole cause of the disintegration of love. I never broke up with anyone because of an innate self-hatred and self-fulfilling idea of unhappiness as a gay man. I broke up with someone because they fell in love with someone else. I never broke off a relationship due to an insatiable sexual need that caused my partner to stray. All of the guys I've dated have remained faithful to me while we were going out, and if they wanted sex on the side then I knew enough to end it.

My romances did not dissolve because of any lack of successful gay couples in history. We make our own history. Besides, all of the straight romances of the past don't seem to have helped any of my straight friends with their hapless romantic plights either; one recently called off a wedding. My boyfriend and I did not break up because of the legality or non-legality of same-sex marriage. We were smart enough to know that we didn't even want to be bound for life at such a young age. We broke up because we weren't right for each other right now. So maybe the reason that our relationships don't last isn't because we're gay, but because we're human, and living in the 21st century. That's why any of us breaks up. Sometimes being gay just doesn't matter.

[Source: Alan Bennett Ilagan, Rainbow Arch]
 

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Wedding Highlights: Toni and Samantha

Eight Types of Gay Guys I've Dated

Dan Savage: Gay Sex vs. Straight Sex

Signs It’s Time for Couples Therapy, According to a Queer Relationship Therapist

 

 

Safer Sex and Partner Communication

Clear and respectful dialogue

 

Couples in intimate relationships must rely on communication to ensure safety and satisfaction in matters of sex. Without honest and candid communication between partners, sex can become uncomfortable, awkward, dissatisfying, and forced. A healthy relationship, therefore must include effective communication that is clear and respectful.

 

--To reach mutual understanding and agreement on sexual health issues, choose a convenient time when you will both be free of distractions.


--Choose a relaxing environment in a neutral location, like a coffee bar or a park, where neither of you will feel pressured.

--Use "I" statements when talking. For example, "I feel that abstinence is right for me at this time." Or, "I would feel more comfortable if we used a condom."

--Be assertive.  Do not let fear of how your partner might react stop you from talking with him/her.

--Be a good listener. Let your partner know that you hear, understand, and care about what she/he is saying and feeling.

 


 

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--Be accessible.  Let your partner know you are open to questions and that you won’t jump on him/her or be offended by questions.

--Be patient with your partner, and remain firm in your decision that talking is important.

--Recognize your limits. You can’t communicate alone or protect you both alone, and you don’t have to know all the answers.

--Understand that success in talking does not mean one person getting the other person to do something. It means that you both have said what you think and feel respectfully and honestly and that you have both listened respectfully to the other.

--Get information to help you each make informed decisions.

--Avoid making assumptions. Ask open-ended questions to discuss relationship expectations, past and present sexual relationships, contraceptive use, and testing for STIs, including HIV, among other issues. For example, "What do you think about our agreeing to avoid sex until after we graduate?" Or, "What do you think about our using hormonal contraception as well as condoms?" Not, "Did you get the condoms?" Or, "When will you have sex with me?"

 

 
 

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--Ask for more information when unsure. Ask questions to clarify what you believe you heard. For example, "I think you said that you want us to use both condoms and birth control pills? Is that right?" Or, "I think you want us both to wait until we graduate to have sex? Is that right?"

--Avoid judging, labeling, blaming, threatening or bribing your partner. Don’t let your partner judge, label, blame, threaten, or bribe you.

--Do not wait until you become sexually intimate to discuss safer sex with your partner. In the heat of the moment, you and your partner may be unable to talk effectively.

--Stick by your decision. Don’t be swayed by lines like, "If you loved me, you would have sex with me." Or, "If you loved me, you would trust me and not use a condom."

[Source: Youth Resource]

 


 

Paige & Holly: Kissing Moments

Queer Daze

Fabulous Queer Couples of the Past

Notable Same Gender Couples from History

Jennifer Aniston Interviews Ellen and Portia

Relationship Advice From Lesbian Couples

Dream Wedding: Getting to Know Elana and Amanda

Lesbian Guide to Being a Good Girlfriend

Jen and Judy: Someone to Stay

How Gay Men’s Relationships Differ from Straight Relationships

Famous LGBTQ Couples Who Broke Up

Sexy Husbands of Gay Celebrities

 

 

What Straight Couples Can Learn From Gay Couples
 

Research suggests that married heterosexual couples can learn a great deal from gay and lesbian couples. Researchers at the University of Washington and the University of California, Berkeley have published what is said to be the first published observational studies of homosexual relationships.

John Gottman, one of the lead authors is quoted as saying that "Gay and lesbian couples are a lot more mature, more considerate in trying to improve a relationship, and have a greater awareness of equality in a relationship than straight couples. I think that in 200 years heterosexual relationships will be where gay and lesbian relationships are today."

In the first of two papers, the researchers explored the conflict interaction of homosexual and heterosexual couples using mathematical modeling techniques.

 


 

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In the second study, they looked at factors influencing gay and lesbian couples' relationship satisfaction and dissolution.

"In the modeling paper we looked at processes, and they look so different you could draw a picture," said Gottman. "Straight couples start a conflict discussion in a much more negative place than do gays and lesbian couples. Homosexuals start the same kind of discussions with more humor and affection, are less domineering and show considerably more positive emotions than heterosexual couples.

"The way a discussion starts is critical. If it starts off in a bad way in a heterosexual relationship, we have found that it will become even more negative 96 percent of the time. Gays and lesbians are warmer, friendlier and less belligerent. You see it over and over in their discussions, and their partner is receiving the message they are communicating. In turn, their partner is allowing himself or herself to be influenced in a positive way. With married heterosexual couples a discussion is much more of a power struggle with someone being invalidated."

Gottman describes gay and lesbian relationships as being characterized by "the triumph of positive emotions over negative emotions." He stated that "Negative emotions have more impact in heterosexual relationships. This is why our previous research has shown you need a 5-to-1 ratio of positive to negative statements. This seems to be universal in heterosexual couples. But it may be different in gay and lesbian relationships where positive emotions seem to have a lot more power or influence."

 

 

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The subjects of the studies did more than complete questionnaires. Researchers videotaped discussions each couple had about what occurred that day, a topic of ongoing conflict, and a pleasant topic. They analyzed the verbal and nonverbal content of their interaction during the talks and again at a later time when the partners viewed the tape individually. The researchers also collected an array of physiological data, including heart rate, during the conversations.

Homosexual couples were recruited in the San Francisco Bay area and they filled out a questionnaire that assessed relationship satisfaction. Forty pairs (12 happy gay couples, 10 unhappy gay couples, 10 happy lesbian couples and 8 unhappy lesbian couples) were chosen to participate in the study. The comparison sample of married couples was drawn from a larger study that recruited couples from around Bloomington, Indiana.

 


 

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It was matched in terms of age, marital satisfaction, education and income to the homosexual couples and consisted of 20 happy and 20 unhappy couples. The researchers went on to collect data for 12 years on the relationships of the homosexual couples. By then, eight couples (20 percent, one gay and seven lesbian) had broken up. This rate, if projected over a 40-year period, would be almost 64 percent, which is similar to the 67 percent divorce rate for first marriages among heterosexual couples of the same time span.

The research found that high levels of cardiovascular arousal among straight couples during a conflict predicted lower relationship satisfaction and higher risk for relationship dissolution. The reverse was actually true with homosexual couples. With gays and lesbians, low physiological arousal was related to these negative outcomes.

The gay and lesbian couples talked more openly about topics such as monogamy and sex. Heterosexual couples avoided talking about sex. This may be because their sexuality is already an issue when they deal with a largely heterosexual world. The authors are content that such open and honest communication may improve the relationships of heterosexual couples.

[Source: Leonard Holmes PhD, Journal of Homosexuality, October 2003]

 

 

Fabulous Queer Couples of the Past

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April and Tiffany: Wedding Highlights Video

Video Advice: Unique LGBTQ Dating Problems

Gail and Audrey: Unexpected Love Story

Signs It’s Time for Couples Therapy, According to a Queer Relationship Therapist

Grindr Etiquette: Johnny Sibilly, Kevin Mchale, Ira Madison III

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Paige and Holly: Hugs and Cuddles
Ranker: Coolest Gay Celebrity Couples

Video: Gay Hollywood Couples

Famous Gay Couples That Broke Up That You May Have Forgotten Even Dated

 

Things Your Partner Should Never ask You to Do
 

To Keep Your Relationship a Secret
"Some people like to keep a relationship private when they’re not sure where it’s going. Still, others want to keep a relationship secret because they are also involved with another person, or not completely over their previous relationship. They may be using you, or they may even be worried about being embarrassed. Either way, their secrecy should give you concern. Someone who truly cares about you should be proud to tell other people about you."
–Dawson McAllister, writer

To Take All the Blame for Their Discomfort
"We blame our partners when we feel discomfort, and this tends to create distance within an emotionally committed relationship. The distance, then, creates a feeling of further discomfort. The clue to dealing with this dilemma is to learn how to soothe your own emotional pain."
–Donna Bellafiore, licensed clinical social worker

 


 

Relationship Advice From Lesbian Couples

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Famous LGBTQ Couples Who Broke Up

Dream Wedding: Getting to Know Elana and Amanda

Lesbian Guide to Being a Good Girlfriend

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black: Best Moments


To Just Drop It
"Communication and trust are two of the most important areas of a relationship. Getting answers to important questions helps build the foundation for a healthy relationship."
–Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, therapist, NYC

To Change Yourself Completely
“There is one major cause of relationship problems: self-abandonment. We can abandon ourselves in many areas: emotional (judging or ignoring our feelings), financial (spending irresponsibly), organizational (being late or messy), physical (eating badly, not exercising), relational (creating conflict in a relationship), or spiritual (depending too much on your partner for love). When you decide to learn to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself, you will discover how to create a loving relationship with your partner.”
-Margaret Paul, PhD, relationship expert, co-creator of Inner Bonding

To Pick Up Unhealthy Habits
"Undermining your fitness goals, constantly tempting you with cigarettes when you've quit, not respecting your decision to only have one drink rather than three-these are all ways that controlling people can try to thwart your attempts to be a healthier (and stronger) person. Since controlling people thrive on weakening their partners, it's a natural tool for them to use."
–Andrea Bonior, PhD

 


 

LGBTQ Celebrities and Their Partners

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Jennifer Aniston Interviews Ellen and Portia

Relationship Advice From Lesbian Couples

Taylor and Annicka: How Our Relationship Started

Ready for a Relationship? What Are the Signs?

Famous LGBTQ Couples Who Broke Up


To Give Up Hobbies
You are my everything is a lousy pop-song lyric and an even worse relationship plan. No one can be everything to anyone. Create relationships outside your relationship, or your relationship isn’t going to work anymore.”
-Matt Lundquist, LCSW, couples therapist

To Agree With All of Their Opinions
"Whether you're being asked or if you're trying to show your love by saying yes to everything, definitely reevaluate things."
–Rhonda Milrad, therapist, founder of online community Relation Up

To Overlook Angry Outbursts
"Intimacy is built on the ability to feel safe enough to be vulnerable and authentic in your relationship. Your partner should never ask you to just take their sudden angry outbursts because they had a bad day or are stressed. This will ultimately foster a sense of anxiety and resentment in your relationship."
-Imani Aieshah, certified couples relationship coach

To Vote for Their Choice
"Politics are innately personal. Your partner should never ask you to publicly agree with or support them in a political stance you are not in agreement with."
-Toni Coleman, PhD, psychotherapist, relationship coach, divorce mediator

 


 

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Same-Sex Celebrity Couples Who Put a Ring on It


To Minimize Your Accomplishments
"Jealousy is common in romantic relationships, but asking you to dim your light so that your partner can shine brighter by comparison is completely unacceptable. If your partner is insecure about themselves and their position in the world, requesting that you diminish your power and accomplishments will only breed resentment. Becoming a downgraded version of yourself won't bring you any joy or satisfy your partner's ego."
-Rhonda Richards-Smith, licensed social worker, relationship expert

To Stop Crying
"Your partner should never ask you to not talk about your feelings. Holding things in is simply toxic and talking things through allows you to get to the root of a problem. Talking is never nagging if you approach it the right way."
-Michele Kerulis, PhD, relationship expert, professor of counseling, Northwestern University

To Talk About Past Lovers
"Your partner should never ask you to expose your past sexual escapades and lovers. This information is private and should be locked into the vault, never to be taken out, unless you feel you want to talk about it on your own terms. It is the right of every person to keep the details of their sexual past in the past."
-Audrey Hope, relationship expert, host of the Hope for Relationships show, addiction therapist at Seasons In Malibu rehab facility

To Lie for Them
"Your partner should never ask you to lie for them. All lies and secrecy are inherently damaging in a relationship. If your partner has something to hide and lie about, the best, most loving thing you can do is let them deal with the consequences of their own actions."
-Shirani M. Pathak, licensed psychotherapist, founder of Relationship Center of Silicon Valley
 


 

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Lesbian Life: Tips for a Healthy Lesbian Relationship

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Jennifer Aniston Interviews Ellen and Portia

Relationship Advice From Lesbian Couples

Gail and Audrey: Unexpected Love Story

Lesbian Guide to Being a Good Girlfriend

Music Video: I Wish You Were Gay

 

To Pick Up Their Socks
"It is not your job to pick up your partner's dirty underwear or do their laundry. You are not your partner's maid or servant. If you want to pick up their socks as a way to show you care, that's fine, but if they demand it? Remind them that they are not a child and you are not their mom."
-Audrey Hope, relationship expert, host of the Hope for Relationships show, addiction therapist at Seasons In Malibu rehab facility
 

To Ignore Insults From Their Family
"Your partner should not ask you to ignore the rude or disrespectful things their friends or family say to you. Your partner is the guide for how your loved ones treat you, so if they let them get away with treating you badly, you don't stand a chance. And if they ask you to just let it go it won't get any better. Your partner needs to stand up for you and should not ask you to ignore bad behavior."
-Julienne Derichs, licensed counselor, relationship expert, Chicago

To Give Up Your Religion
"You should never have to compromise on your values. Your partner should support you in your core beliefs and not ask you to change them."
-Kimberly Hershenson, licensed social worker, relationship therapist, NYC

 

Relationship Advice for Same Sex Couples

LGBTQ Celebrities and Their Other Halves
Raven-Symoné Opens Up About Living As Her Authentic Self
Weird and Annoying Questions Gay Couples Get Asked
Famous Gay Couples That Have Broken Up

Scientific Report: Gay Couples are Less Stressful

Notable Same Gender Couples from History
Pop Sugar: LGBTQ Celebrity Couples

Queer Couples Through History From Ancient Egypt to the White House

 

To Give Them Your Phone
"Asking to go through your cell phone is a major boundary violation. If your partner feels the need to check your cell phone then you most likely have trust issues and that has to be addressed. Trust is the foundation of a healthy and respectful relationship. If you don't have trust then you're probably with the wrong partner."
-Michele Kerulis, PhD, relationship expert, professor of counseling, Northwestern University

To Quit Your Job
"Your partner should never ask you to relinquish financial independence against your will. This is trouble waiting to happen. If you were working when you met, you are the one to independently decide to change jobs or stay home."
-Linda F. Williams, behaviorist, relationship coach at Whose Apple Dynamic Coaching and Consulting

To File for Divorce
"If your partner feels like the relationship is over, it's unfair for them to ask you to be the one to take the initiative to file for a divorce. That's on them."
-Shannon Battle, licensed professional counselor

To Do Something You're Terrified Of
"Your partner can certainly suggest trying something scary, but they should never ask you to face fears you are not ready to confront. Let's say they love roller coasters but roller coasters scare you to death. They can ask you to go on one with them, but if you say no, they shouldn't shame you into trying it."
-Janet Zinn, licensed social worker, psychotherapist, couples counselor, NYC

 

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Relationship Success Tips for Coupled Gay Men

Bryan and Mwinga: Blind Date

Signs It’s Time for Couples Therapy, According to a Queer Relationship Therapist

Grindr Etiquette: Johnny Sibilly, Kevin Mchale, Ira Madison III
Famous Gay Couples That Have Broken Up

 

To Ditch Your Best Friend
"You should never be asked to stop being friends with one of your friends just because your partner doesn't like him or her. They can point out how the relationship might not be healthy, but that's it. Especially if the friendship precedes the relationship, they should stay out of it."
-Bette Levy Alkazian, licensed marriage & family therapist

To Cover for Their Addiction
"You should never have to lie for your partner, covering up their addictions. Whether it's drugs, alcohol or sex, you're not helping them, you're just enabling them."
-Ava Cadell, AASECT certified sex counselor, founder of Love University

To Try Something Sexual, When You've Already Said No
"If you have already said no to a sexual act, whatever it is, your partner should refrain from asking you over and over. That says your partner isn't respecting you and your wishes, or even respecting you as an individual, because they would rather put their sexual needs first."
-Shirani M. Pathak, licensed psychotherapist, founder of Relationship Center of Silicon Valley

To Choose Between Them and Your Mother
"You should never have to chose between a partner and family. If there's conflict between your partner and family and it doesn't seem to resolving, you should never have to chose sides. If one or both parties are unwilling to work out their differences, accept it but never let go of one relationship for another."
–Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, therapist, NYC

 


 

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Dan Savage: Gay Sex vs. Straight Sex


To Change Your Outfit
"While it's nice to know what your partner thinks of your appearance, ultimately that choice is up to you. And be aware of what you ask as well. Asking which outfit looks better or if you have gained weight is a recipe for disaster, and the conversations may end in you being offended and angry."

-Samantha Daniels, relationship expert, founder of The Dating Lounge dating app


To Be the Family Go-Between
"Your partner should not ask you to carry messages for them to family members, kids or others as a way of resolving conflict. Their relationships are their responsibility."
-Jeanette Raymond, PhD, licensed psychologist, relationship expert, author of Now You Want Me, Now You Don't!

To Be Like Someone Else
"Your partner should never ask you to be someone other than your authentic self. Statements such as, Why can't you be like her or He would have never done that should be deal breakers."
-Linda F. Williams, behaviorist, relationship coach at Whose Apple Dynamic Coaching and Consulting

To Accept Abuse
"Your partner should never ask you to stay in a loveless, disloyal, or or abusive relationship. If your partner is not holding up their end of the bargain, it's not okay for them to expect your love and loyalty. People stay inside of relationship because they don't want to fail. I see it as a fail to stay if you're miserable."
-Megan Weks, dating and relationship expert

 

[Source: Charlotte Hilton Andersen, Alex Aronson, Redbook, June 2019]

 

 

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