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Gay Marriage

"I take a position similar to a position that Martin Luther King, Jr. took many, many years ago, that races don't fall in love and get married. Individuals fall in love and get married. So if two men or two women fall in love and want to get married, they should be able to do just that. No government, state or federal, should tell people who they can fall in love with and get married or not."
-John Lewis / Congressman

"We shouldn't just allow gay marriage. We should insist on gay marriage. We should regard it as scandalous that two people could claim to love each other and not want to sanctify their love with marriage and fidelity."
-David Brooks / New York Times

"It's insane that civil rights are being denied people in this day and age. It's embarrassing and it's heartbreaking. It goes without saying that I am completely in support of gay marriage. In ten years we'll be ashamed that was ever an issue."
-Chris Evans / Captain America

"Marriage should be between a spouse and a spouse, not a gender and a gender."
-Hendrik Hertzberg

Thailand’s King Makes History: Signs Marriage Equality Law

20 Years Ago, Same-Sex Marriage in Massachusetts Opened a Door for LGBTQ Rights Nationwide

Mickey and Ian: Wedding Scene (Shameless)
Marriage Proposals That Will Warm Your Heart
20 Year Anniversary of World's First Same-Sex Marriage

CNN: Support for Same Sex Marriage Reaches Record High

Same Sex Marriage: Why It's Important
Metro Weekly: Most Republicans Now Support Same-Sex Marriage

NPR: Five Year Anniversary of Marriage Equality in the US

Timeline: Legalization of Marriage Equality in the US

Rebel Wilson Marries Girlfriend Ramona Agruma

The two announced their relationship in 2022...

Rebel Wilson is now a married woman. The Pitch Perfect actor wed her partner Ramona Agruma in September 2024 in Sardinia, Italy. Wilson, 44, and Agruma, 40, first went public with their relationship back in the summer of 2022. Agruma is the founder of the sustainable clothes brand Lemon Limon.

"I thought I was searching for a Disney Prince… but maybe what I really needed all this time was a Disney Princess,” Wilson said at the time. The two got engaged at Disneyland in California on Valentine’s Day 2023.

She said at the time that, while her family has been accepting of her relationship with Agruma. “My whole family has just been amazing,” Wilson said, “Ramona’s family hasn’t been as accepting. And so in many respects, it has been a lot harder on her to have to make the news public.”

“With her, she’s not in the public eye, it’s much harder on her,” she continued. “It’s so sad to see what happened with her family over it. Hopefully, people will change their attitude about things.”

[Source: Alex Cooper, Advocate Magazine, Sept 2024]

Advocate: Rebel Wilson Marries Girlfriend Ramona Agruma in Italy
NBC News: Rebel Wilson Announces Marriage to Ramona Agruma
EW: Rebel Wilson Marries Ramona Agruma in Italian Destination Wedding
YouTube: Rebel Wilson and Ramona Agruma Get Married in Italy
USA Today: Rebel Wilson and Ramona Agruma Marry in Italy
 

Respect for Marriage Act Approved by House and Senate

Codifying federal protections for same-sex and inter-racial marriage

The House voted to pass legislation Dec 2022 to protect same-sex and interracial marriage, the last step before the measure goes to President Joe Biden for his signature and becomes law.

The House vote was 258 to 169 with 39 Republicans joining the Democrats voting in favor. Loud applause broke out in the chamber when the vote was gaveled to a close.

While the bill would not set a national requirement that all states must legalize same-sex marriage, it would require individual states to recognize another state’s legal marriage.

The push for a vote on federal legislation protecting same-sex marriage rapidly gained momentum after the Supreme Court in June overturned its landmark Roe v. Wade decision.

The bill, called the Respect for Marriage Act, passed the Senate with a vote of 61 to 36. The bill was supported by all members of the Senate Democratic caucus and 12 Republicans.

In the event the Supreme Court might overturn its 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision that legalized same-sex marriage, a state could still pass a law to ban same-sex marriage, but that state would also be required to recognize a same-sex marriage from another state

CNN: US House of Reps Passes Bill to Protect Same Sex Marriage
NBC: Respect for Marriage Bill Passed by US House of Reps
NPR: What Does the Respect for Marriage Act Do?
CBS: US House Sends Respect for Marriage Bill to Biden

Remarks from President Joe Biden

2021 | Twenty Year Anniversary of Marriage Equality Worldwide

Twenty years ago, Dutch couple Gert Kasteel and Dolf Pasker made history when they tied the knot in the world’s first legally-recognized same-sex wedding in the Netherlands. They were among four gay couples (three male and one female) to be married shortly after midnight by the mayor of Amsterdam on April 1, 2001.

On April 1, 2021, they celebrated their 20th anniversaries in small groups or at home due to COVID-19 social distancing rules that prevented large gatherings. “It’s nicer to say to other people ‘he’s my husband, he’s my man,’” said Dolf, sitting next to Gert as they flipped through an album of photos and newspaper clippings of the wedding, which made headlines worldwide. “It has helped me to accept myself.” All four gay marriages have passed the test of time. One of the men, Frank Wittebrood, died of a heart attack in 2011 at 55.

Those who participated looked back with pride at having made legal history. “People told me that the Netherlands would be the first and the last country (to pass same-sex marriages), the rest of the world won’t follow you,” said Henk Krol, a lawmaker who supported the bill when it passed the Dutch parliament in 2000.

“Almost 30 countries in the world followed the Dutch example,” he said. Most European Union countries, Britain, the United States, Australia, Mexico and South Africa are among 29 nations to have legalized same-sex marriage since 2001. “I’m very proud that it’s possible,” said Gert, who before he could complete his sentence had Dolf jump in and finish it: “that we could play a little part of it. We made history.”
 

20 Year Anniversary of World's First Same-Sex Marriage

NPR: Five Year Anniversary of Marriage Equality in US

2020 | Five Year Anniversary of Marriage Equality in the US

On the fifth anniversary (June 2020) of the historic US Supreme Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage across the country, LGBTQ activists marked the victory online.

On June 26, 2015 celebrations took place on the steps of the Supreme Court with lots of hugging and cheering. This year celebrations are more subdued and virtual because of the coronavirus pandemic. "We will be part of a larger celebration supporting Stonewall ... Called Stonewall Day," says Sarah Kate Ellis, president and CEO of GLAAD. That online event marks the start of protests in 1969 that launched the modern gay rights movement. Former President Barack Obama and Taylor Swift were among those who recorded congratulatory messages marking the occasion. The celebration comes after another big Supreme Court decision last week (2020). Justices ruled that it's illegal to fire someone because they're gay, lesbian or transgender.

Top Countries Most Supportive of Marriage Equality

20 Years Ago, Same-Sex Marriage in Massachusetts Opened a Door for LGBTQ Rights Nationwide

Around the country people are celebrating the 2015 marriage decision in their own ways. In Durham, NC, Barb Goldstein and Ann Willoughby looked through a scrapbook documenting their activism – including a photo of both on the front page of the local newspaper. Long-time partners Ann Willoughby, left, and Barb Goldstein, from Durham, North Carolina, leave the Durham County Register of Deeds office in downtown Durham on May 9, 2012, comforting each other after being denied a marriage license. "It was really a big deal, especially for Ann because she had never been open and finally she decided to just go for it," says Goldstein. Willoughby is 84 years old and says the marriage campaign helped her come out after decades in the closet. "The legality made me feel that, 'Hey, this is okay.' I'm a part of society. This is the way it should be – I don't need to hold back or pretend anymore," Willoughby says.

In Philadelphia, Larry Benjamin had already been with his husband for nearly two decades when the Supreme Court decision was announced. Still he says, "It was this big sigh of relief because that was it, where ever we went in the US we were going to be a married couple." "Being married is amazing. Being able to be with the person that you love is amazing," says Tori Wolfe-Sisson, who was active in marriage campaigns in the South.

20 Year Anniversary of World's First Same-Sex Marriage

NPR: Five Year Anniversary of Marriage Equality in US

Same-Sex Celebrity Couples Who Put a Ring on It

Wolfe-Sisson says the Supreme Court decision has contributed to increasing acceptance of LGBTQ people. "It is shifting our culture in a way that is forcing people to accept – you have to because the law says it," Wolfe-Sisson says. But there's still criticism that the focus on marriage pushed aside campaigns to help LGBTQ people who face multiple forms of discrimination.

"An example is a black, transgender woman. She happens to be black and faces racial oppression in this country and transgender and faces oppression because of her gender identity," says Alphonso David, president of the Human Rights Campaign. Last fall after years of criticism David's group expanded its work for "transgender equality and justice" to address the violence and other harms trans people often face. This pivot to transgender issues has been matched by groups that fought against same-sex-marriage. Many of them are motivated by a conservative Christian theology that sees homosexuality and being transgender as unnatural.

Paige and Holly: Morning of Our Wedding Day

Same-Sex Wedding Photo Gallery

Mickey and Ian: Wedding Scene (Shameless)

Top Countries Most Supportive of Marriage Equality

Same-Sex Wedding Photo Gallery

"The Supreme Court's Obergefell decision is just as unconstitutional today as it was the day the opinion was issued five years ago," says Abraham Hamilton III, general counsel with the American Family Association. Despite the defeat on the marriage decision, advocates for opposite-sex-only marriages remain optimistic.

"The LGBTQ movement has been promoting what are, essentially, lies about the nature of humanity – the nature of the human person – and I don't think that lies can prevail forever. I think that eventually the truth will triumph," says Peter Sprigg with the Family Research Council.

These groups now use the idea of religious freedom to argue in court that discrimination against LGBTQ people should be allowed in things like public accommodations and housing. It's a legal argument that courts are less and less friendly to, especially considering the Supreme Court's decision last week on banning employment discrimination. Discrimination based on religious freedom in housing is a special concern for older LGBTQ people. "Eighty-five percent of continuing [care] retirement communities in this country are run by faith-based organizations," says Michael Adams, CEO of SAGE. Not all of those organizations discriminate against LGBTQ people, but Adams sees the possibility as a risk.
 

Five years after the Supreme Court's same-sex marriage decision, SAGE is among the groups focused on a new fight. They want to pass legislation in Congress called the "Equality Act." It would prohibit LGBTQ discrimination in a wide variety of areas, including housing and healthcare. "That legislation really gets to the guts of what we need, in terms of legal protections in daily life," Adams says. The Democratically-controlled House of Representatives passed the legislation more than a year ago but it has stalled in the Republican-controlled Senate.

[Source: Jeff Brady, National Public Radio, June 2020]

20 Year Anniversary of World's First Same-Sex Marriage

NPR: Five Year Anniversary of Marriage Equality in US

Same-Sex Celebrity Couples Who Put a Ring on It

Our Wedding Day: Paige and Holly

Marriage Proposals That Will Warm Your Heart

Same-Sex Wedding Photo Gallery

Jim Obergefell: Gay Marriage Activist
 

Jim Obergefell (born 1966) is a gay American civil rights activist known as the plaintiff in the Supreme Court case Obergefell v. Hodges, which legalized same-sex marriage in the United States. After his husband, John Arthur, died in 2013, and his inability to legally be considered Arthur's surviving spouse on his death certificate, Obergefell took to court, beginning his years of fighting for LGBTQ rights.

Mere months after their wedding, Obergefell's husband John was diagnosed with ALS. Upon meeting with a local civil rights attorney, they were told that due to Ohio's same-sex marriage ban, Obergefell could not be listed as Arthur's surviving spouse on his death certificate. They later filed a lawsuit, and the Ohio case became known as Obergefell v. Kasich.  A federal judge agreed to hear the case the following court day due to Arthur's illness. The judge ruled in Obergefell's favor, but the state of Ohio appealed to a higher court and won, resulting in Obergefell's appeal to the Supreme Court. Arthur died and soon, Obergefell devoted his time and became committed to legalizing same-sex marriage for all with the Supreme Court case Obergefell v. Hodges.

Biographical Notes: Jim Obergefell

Washington Post: Obergefell Became the Face of the Gay Marriage Court Case

NPR: Five Year Anniversary of Marriage Equality in the US

Justice Anthony Kennedy, who wrote the majority opinion for the case, stated in the court: “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than they once were.” After winning the case, Obergefell stated: “This affirms what millions across the country already know to be true in their hearts: our love is equal. The four words etched onto the front of the Supreme Court ‘equal justice under law’ apply to us, too.” President Barack Obama reached out to congratulate Obergefell and thanked him for “his leadership that has changed our country.”

After years of being together, Arthur was diagnosed with ALS. Obergefell acted as Arthur’s caretaker for the rest of their relationship. By 2013, Arthur became bed bound, and Obergefell and Arthur decided to get married. Same-sex marriage was illegal in their home state of Ohio, so in order to get married, they traveled to another state. After 22 years of being together, Arthur died in October 2013.

Same-Sex Wedding Photo Gallery

2015 | Marriage Equality

On June 26, 2015, the US Supreme Court announced its landmark decision, in the case of Obergefell vs Hodges, ruling in favor of nationwide marriage equality. In so doing, it officially declared that same-sex couples have a right to marry anywhere in the United States. This historic Supreme Court ruling, which brought great joy to the LGBTQ community, holds that same-sex couples can no longer be denied the freedom to marry guaranteed by the US Constitution, assuring that all loving and committed couples will be able to marry throughout the United States.

President Obama issued these remarks: "Today is a big step in our march toward equality. Gay and lesbian couples now have the right to marry, just like anyone else. The Supreme Court recognized that the Constitution guarantees marriage equality. In doing so, they have reaffirmed that all Americans are entitled to the equal protection of the law; that all people should be treated equally, regardless of who they are or who they love. This decision will end the patchwork system we currently have. It will end the uncertainty hundreds of thousands of same-sex couples face from not knowing whether they’re marriage, legitimate in the eyes of one state, will remain if they decide to move or even visit another. This ruling will strengthen all of our communities by offering to all loving same-sex couples the dignity of marriage across this great land. If we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well. It is gratifying to see that principle enshrined into law by this decision."

Take Pride in Your Love

Richard Blanco: Until We Could

Marriage Proposals That Will Warm Your Heart

Love is Love: Photos From Same-Sex Weddings

Freedom to Marry: Love Won

Top Countries Most Supportive of Marriage Equality

My Love My Life: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Wikipedia: Same-Sex Marriage in the United States

Our Wedding Day: Paige and Holly

Same Sex Couples Tell Us What it's Like to be Legally Married

Why Opinion Changed so Quickly on Gay Marriage

Lesbian Couple Marries Atop Empire State Building

"This ruling is a victory for America. This decision affirms what millions of Americans already believe in their hearts. When all Americans are treated as equal, we are all more free. We are people who believe every child is entitled to life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness. There is so much more work to be done to extend the full promise of America to every American. But today, we can say in no uncertain terms that we’ve made our union a little more perfect. That’s the consequence of a decision from the Supreme Court, but more importantly, it is a consequence of the countless small acts of courage of millions of people across decades who stood up, who came out, talked to parents, parents who loved their children no matter what, folks who were willing to endure bullying and taunts, and stayed strong, and came to believe in themselves and who they were. And slowly made an entire country realize that love is love."

Raven Simone Marries Her Girlfriend

Best Lines From the Marriage Equality Ruling

World Chart: Where is Same Sex Marriage Legal?

National Gay Wedding Association

Debunking Marriage Equality Dissenters

Black Love: Same Sex Couples' Quest for Marriage Equality

Same-Sex Celebrity Couples Who Put a Ring on It

Enchanted Disney Wedding for Two Princesses

Same Sex Couples Tell Us What it's Like to be Legally Married

Timeline: Same-Sex Marriage

20 Years Ago, Same-Sex Marriage in Massachusetts Opened a Door for LGBTQ Rights Nationwide

Mrs and Mrs: Wedding Planning Discussion

Love Wins: The Faces of Marriage Equality

Same-Sex Union/Marriage Legislation Worldwide

Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings

Marriage Equality in Texas: Story of Two LGBTQ Families

Carolina and Erica: Wedding Proposal

Pew Research Center: Global Snapshot of Same-Sex Marriage

YouTube: Top Ten Same-Sex Celebrity Weddings

Worst Reactions to Marriage Equality

Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote the court's majority opinion. Here are some of his comments: "No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than they once were. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right."

Marriage Equality Around the World
Countries Where Same Sex Marriage is Legal
Same-Sex Wedding Photo Gallery

Marriage Proposals That Will Warm Your Heart

LGBTQ Nation: Supreme Court Rules for Nationwide Marriage Equality

Richard Cohen, President, Southern Poverty Law Center, released this statement: "What a great day for our country! With today’s historic U.S. Supreme Court ruling, marriage equality for the LGBTQ community is now enshrined in our Constitution. It’s good news for not only people like our client Paul Hard but also for everyone in our country who cherishes equality. Earlier lower-court decisions reaching the same result propelled a positive change in public attitudes. We hope this ruling will do the same – because we still have a lot of work to do, particularly in the Deep South, where old attitudes are most slow to change. Members of the LGBTQ community, like our client Tristan Broussard, are still being fired from their jobs because of who they are. People like our client Ashley Diamond are still fighting to receive medical care for the same reason. And LGBTQ people everywhere are still at risk of being the victims of violent hate crimes by those with hate in their hearts. We’ll have to continue to fight for the rights of the LGBTQ community for years to come. But, today, we pause to celebrate. A tremendous battle has been won."

LGBTQ Wedding Ceremonies

Time Mag: In What Countries is Same Sex Marriage Legal?

Love is Love: Photos From Same-Sex Weddings

Same-Sex Celebrity Couples Who Put a Ring on It

My Love My Life: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Top Countries Most Supportive of Marriage Equality

Best Lines From the Marriage Equality Ruling

National Gay Wedding Association

Richard Blanco: Until We Could

Talking About Marriage
 

Good: Gay Marriage

Better: Same Sex Marriage

Best: Marriage Equality

As gay and lesbian couples begin getting married, some may struggle with the appropriate words to use to refer to the wedding ceremony that is taking place or the marriage relationship that is beginning.  You may hear confusion from someone who is sincerely trying to understand this new concept.  They may even ask, “So, which one’s the groom and which one’s the bride?”

It is appropriate, of course, to refer to the ceremony or the occasion as simply a “wedding” or a “marriage” like any other wedding or marriage.  There is no need to differentiate. 

However, the term “Gay Marriage” is respectful.  Using the term “Same Sex Marriage” shows greater knowledge of the subject.  Using the term “Marriage Equality” shows a deeper understanding of what it means and why it is important.

Will You Marry Me?
 

Mike and Angelo: Flash Mob Proposal

Tiffany and April: Simply Beautiful Proposal

Angie and Jessica: Backyard Proposal

Danae and Mandie: Surprise Proposal

Soy and Aja: Photo Shoot Proposal

Werner and Pauly: Australian Proposal

Marissa and Brittany: Orlando Proposal

Anthony and Mohammed: Venice Proposal on a Gondola

Kyra and Dani: Flash Mob Proposal

Chris and Clay: Broadway Boyfriends Flash Mob Proposal

Kelly and Christina: Philadelphia Proposal

Alex and Alex: Concert Proposal

Megan and Gretchen: Photo Shoot Proposal

Emma and Theresa: Denver Flash Mob Proposal

Compilation: Adorable Proposals

Marriage Proposals That Will Warm Your Heart

Marriage Equality in 37 States
 

Prior to the US Supreme Court decision to grant marriage equality nationwide, states legalized same-sex marriage one by one. By February 2015, all but 13 states had individually permitted same-sex marriage.

26 by Court Decision:

Alaska (Oct 17, 2014), Arizona (Oct 17, 2014), California (June 28, 2013), Colorado (Oct 7, 2014), Connecticut (Nov 12, 2008), Idaho (Oct 13, 2014), Indiana (Oct 6, 2014), Iowa (April 24, 2009), Kansas (Nov 12, 2014), Massachusetts (May 17, 2004), Montana (Nov 19, 2014), Nevada (Oct 9, 2014), New Jersey (Oct 21, 2013), New Mexico (Dec 19, 2013), North Carolina (Oct 10, 2014), Oklahoma (Oct 6, 2014), Oregon (May 19, 2014), Pennsylvania (May 20, 2014), South Carolina (Nov 20, 2014), Utah (Oct 6, 2014), Virginia (Oct 6, 2014), West Virginia (Oct 9, 2014), Wisconsin (Oct 6, 2014), Wyoming (Oct 21, 2014), Florida (Jan 2015), Alabama (Feb 9, 2015)

8 by State Legislature:

Delaware (July 1, 2013), Hawaii (Dec 2, 2013), Illinois (June 1, 2014), Minnesota (Aug 1, 2013), New Hampshire (Jan 1, 2010), New York (July 24, 2011), Rhode Island (Aug 1, 2013), Vermont (Sept 1, 2009)

3 by Popular Vote:

Maine (Dec 29, 2012), Maryland (Jan 1, 2013), Washington (Dec 9, 2012)

Plus: Washington DC (March 3, 2010)
 

Raven Simone Marries Her Girlfriend

Pew Research Center: Gay Marriage Around the World

Mrs and Mrs: Wedding Planning Discussion

Wikipedia: Same Sex Marriage

Marriage Equality in Texas: Story of Two LGBTQ Families

April and Tiffany: Wedding Highlights Video

Are You the Husband or the Wife?

Freedom to Marry Comes to Alabama

Carolina and Erica: Wedding Proposal

Why Opinion Changed so Quickly on Gay Marriage

Unforgettable Father's Toast at Gay Son's Wedding

Planning an LGBTQ Wedding

Gail and Audrey: Unexpected Love Story

Debunking Marriage Equality Dissenters

Love Wins: The Faces of Marriage Equality

YouTube: Top Ten Sweetest Lesbian Couples Married

Marriage Equality Worldwide

it has been more than two decades since the Netherlands made history as the first country to introduce marriage equality in 2001. Now legally performed and recognized in 36 countries, LGBTQ rights have come a long way as same-sex couples are able to enjoy the same legal benefits and status as their heterosexual counterparts in a number of places.

Despite this significant progress, a vast number of countries continue to only recognize civil unions or registered partnerships for same-sex couples. Others have laws that are not consistent across the nation, while others criminalize same-sex sexual activity entirely.

The legalization of gay marriage has most typically taken place through legislation, as has been the case in countries like Australia, Switzerland and Ireland. Others, such as the United States and Costa Rica, legalized it as the result of a court decision.
 

Supreme Court Declares: Same Sex Marriage Now Legal in All 50 States

Love Wins: The Faces of Marriage Equality

Carolina and Erica: Wedding Proposal

Same Sex Couples Tell Us What it's Like to be Legally Married

Freedom to Marry Comes to Alabama

LGBTQ Hawaiian Wedding Resources

Advocate: Are Queer People Making Marriage Better?

Why Opinion Changed so Quickly on Gay Marriage

20 Years Ago, Same-Sex Marriage in Massachusetts Opened a Door for LGBTQ Rights Nationwide

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