Queer Cafe

PBS: Invention of Heterosexuality

Celebrities Who Came Out As Straight
Gal Pals and Compulsory Heterosexuality

Info: Cisnormative

There are multiple traditional meanings for the word "straight":
--Without a bend or curve, evenly formed or set, not crooked
--Frank, honest, upright, correct
--In proper order
--Without interruption or break, continuous, in an unbroken series

--Without reservations or exceptions
--Unmixed, undiluted, unmodified (alcoholic drinks)
--Showing no emotion or humor, serious rather than comic, natural rather than eccentric

--Behaving in a conventional manner, holding orthodox views, conventional, standard, normal

There are multiple slang meanings for the word "straight":
--Term used in agreement, approval
--Term used to denote the validity of a statement or claim
--Term used to describe a manner of frank communication (straight talk)
--Term used to determine level of understanding, agreement, or otherwise mutual understanding and agreement

--Term used to qualify one's sexual orientation

Celebrities Who Came Out as Straight
PBS: Invention of Heterosexuality

Heterophobia: Is It Real?
Heteronormativity Explained

Gal Pals and Compulsory Heterosexuality

Heterosexual

According to the Urban Dictionary, a heterosexual is a person who is attracted to persons of the opposite gender or a person who loves people of the opposite sex. Heterosexuality is the most common sexual orientation in the world, but by no means "normal". It is simply more common than some variations of human sexuality. Only tiny minorities are exclusively heterosexual or exclusively homosexual (somewhere between 2 to 5% each). Most are somewhere in between those two extremes. Heterosexuals are people that are romantically and sexually attracted to the opposite gender. So females are attracted to males and males are attracted to females.

According to Wikipedia, heterosexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior between persons of the opposite sex or gender. As a sexual orientation, heterosexuality is an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions to persons of the opposite sex. It also refers to a person's sense of identity based on those attractions, related behaviors, and membership in a community of others who share those attractions. Along with bisexuality and homosexuality, heterosexuality is one of the three main categories of sexual orientation within the heterosexual–homosexual continuum. The term heterosexual or heterosexuality is usually applied to humans, but heterosexual behavior is observed in all mammals and in other animals.

What it means to be straight? Straight certainly means “exclusively attracted to the opposite sex.” Thus, a “straight” woman is attracted only to men and never to women. And a "straight" man is attracted only to women and never to men. Heterosexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior between persons of the opposite sex or gender. Someone who is heterosexual is commonly referred to as straight.

Slang terms for heterosexuals include "straight," "vanilla," and "breeders."

Heterophobia: Is It Real?
Info: Heterosexual Privilege

PBS: Invention of Heterosexuality

Privilege Checklist

Straight Terminology

Heterosexual - Clinical term used to describe a person characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire and affection toward persons of the opposite sex. A person who engages in sexual intercourse with individuals of the opposite sex.

Het/Hetero - Slang terms. Shorthand for heterosexual.

Heteronormative - World view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation. Relates to behavior or attitudes consistent with traditional male or female gender roles and the assumption of heterosexuality as the norm.

Heteronormativity - Belief that heterosexuality, predicated on the gender binary, is the norm or default sexual orientation. It assumes that sexual and marital relations are most fitting between people of opposite sex. A heteronormative view therefore involves alignment of biological sex, sexuality, gender identity and gender roles. Heteronormativity is often linked to heterosexism and homophobia.

Comp-Het - Compulsory Heterosexuality. Heteronormative attitude and mindset. Oppressive socializing model that assumes all people are heterosexual and cisgender.

Straight - Slang term referring to a person who is a heterosexual person, someone having a sexual orientation to persons of the opposite sex, someone who is attracted to persons of the opposite sex.

Cisgender - Term referring to a person who is not transgender. It refers to a person whose gender identity and biological sex assigned at birth are in alignment.

Heterosexual Pride

Celebrities Who Came Out As Straight
Gal Pals and Compulsory Heterosexuality

Info: Cisnormative

Cis-Het - Slang term referring to a person who is both cisgender and heterosexual. A person is cis/het if he or she is cisgender (identifying with his or her assigned-at-birth gender) as well as heterosexual (attracted exclusively to people of the opposite sex).

Endosex - Term that means the opposite of intersex. It means non-intersex. It means that a person has innate physical sex characteristics that match what is expected for female or male bodies, including chromosomes, hormones, genitals and other anatomy.

Gender Normative/Gender Straight – Term used to describe someone whose gender presentation, whether by nature or by choice, aligns with society’s gender-based expectations.

Bromance/Bromantic - Term used to describe two heterosexual men displaying affection for each other.

Ally - Term used to refer to a person who is typically straight or cis-identified who demonstrates support and respect for members of the LGBTQ community. Allies are affirming of and friendly to the LGBTQ community without being a member of the community.

Vanilla - Slang term used by the BDSM community to refer to non-kinky people and the unadventurous and dull type of sexual activity they engage in. Traditionally, "vanilla" is defined as something having no special or extra features, something that is ordinary or standard, unexciting, or conventional. Vanilla sex refers to sex that involves no twists or kinkiness, and no S&M. No toys, fetish, or edgeplay. Basically, plain regular sex.

Breeder - Slang term (often derogatory) used by the homosexual community to refer to heterosexual couples, who have a significantly higher risk of contributing to the population increase than homosexuals do.

Washington Post: Three Guys Want Permit for Straight Pride Parade

Straight Pride Parade in Boston

Just in time for LGBTQ Pride Month, a right wing conservative activist group (three homophobic guys) in Boston has organized a Straight Pride Parade. June 2019, Pride Month kicks off in Boston while preparations for a possible “Straight Pride Parade” are also underway. The event to celebrate heterosexuality in one of the nation’s most gay-friendly cities is meant to poke fun at the “identity politics” of the political left, organizer Mark Sahady said.

“For them everything is based upon identity and whether or not one is categorized as a victim or an oppressor,” Sahady stated. “If you get victim status then you are entitled to celebrate yourself and expect those with oppressor status to defer to your feelings.” Sahady has also organized “free speech” rallies and a gun rights demonstration with the group Resist Marxism, whose website says it tries to “defend the Constitution against violent extremists and the regressive left.”

Organizers of the Straight Pride Parade tentatively plan to host the event in late August, Sahady said, and have filed a discrimination complaint against Boston for permission to fly their straight pride flag. The parade will include floats and vehicles, Sahady explained, and will run from Copley Square to City Hall, the same route as the official Pride parade will take in early June.

In a statement, Mayor Marty Walsh (D) declined to specifically address the Straight Pride Parade. Instead, he focused on LGBTQ pride and encouraged people to attend the official Pride parade and advocate equality for all. “Every year Boston hosts our annual Pride Week, where our city comes together to celebrate the diversity, strength and acceptance of our LGBTQ community,” Walsh said in a statement. “This is a special week that represents Boston’s values of love and inclusion, which are unwavering.”

Boston has a history as a safe haven for the LGBTQ community. Massachusetts was the first state to legalize same-sex marriage in 2004. In May of that year, Boston-area residents Marcia Kadish and Tanya McCloskey became the first same-sex couple in the United States to get married. The powerful advocacy group LGBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders was founded in Boston and is still located there.

Linda DeMarco, the president of Boston Pride, which is organizing this month’s Pride Parade, said her group is focused on what she thinks will be the largest Boston Pride parade ever. “We know that straight allies of the LGBTQ community are among the thousands of supporters who come out every year to march, observe and celebrate,” DeMarco said. “We are looking forward to seeing our straight friends, family, and neighbors at the Boston Pride parade and festival along with members of the LGBTQ community.”

NY Times: Amid Boston LGBTQ Pride Week, Straight Pride Parade Draws Attention

Jake Van Gogh: Straight Pride
Huffington Post: Backlash for Straight Pride Parade in Boston

Advocate Mag: Only 3 People Attended Dallas Straight Pride Event

Chasten Buttigieg, the husband of 2020 Democratic presidential contender Pete Buttigieg, issued a statement on social media about the nuances of identity based politics — why having a pride-styled event for a dominant group like heterosexuals wasn’t to be equivocated with something like gay pride: “Questions you may want to ask yourself before organizing an identity based parade: Was it ever legal for me to be jailed for my identity? Can I be denied housing/health services because of how I identity? Is it legal to kill me in other countries for how I identify?” he wrote. “Could I be kicked out of the military for how I identify? Has it ever been illegal for me to marry others of the same identity?”

James Fell, a heterosexual ally, posted this message on social media: "It's official. Boston is going to have a Straight Pride Parade. I'm straight. I like being straight. A big reason why I like being straight is that I've never once experienced bigotry for my sexuality. I didn't have to fight for my right to marry the person of my choosing. I didn't have to concern myself with beaten or killed because others didn't accept who I wanted to sleep with. I didn't have to stay closeted out of fear, or worry about the reaction of my family, friends or colleagues by coming out. I never got called a slur for being straight. Nobody ever told me I'm going to burn in hell for being straight. There aren't any programs where I could be sent to be tortured into no longer being straight. There aren't any countries where you can be put to death simply for being straight. There is nothing I ever had to fight for, or struggle against, because I'm straight. And therefore, there isn't any reason to take pride in it. Grateful for for the privileges, sure, but not proud. I don't see it. what I do see is that this parade is misnamed. It's not a "Straight Pride" parade. It should be called a "Homophobic Piece of Shit" parade."

Celebrities Who Came Out as Straight
CompHet: Compulsory Heterosexuality

Heterosexual Awesomeness Month

A bar in Idaho named June ‘Heterosexual Awesomeness Month." As a straight alternative to LGBTQ Pride Month, the Old State Saloon announced that it would begin a celebration of heterosexuality with discounts and free beer for couples and men.

“June will be our inaugural Heterosexual Awesomeness Month! Come join us all month to celebrate heterosexuals, for without them, none of us would be here!” the bar’s Facebook post reads.

On Mondays, the bar will celebrate “Hetero Male Monday,” where any “heterosexual male dressed like a heterosexual male will receive a free draft beer.” On Wednesdays, the bar will celebrate “Heterosexual Couples Day” where heterosexual couples will receive 15% off their bill.

The bar received plenty of positive and negative comments on the post. Despite any blowback, the bar said they would proceed.

“We hear lots of people are upset about Heterosexual Awesomeness Month! Please know: 1) We love our LGBTQ patrons. 2) We will not be changing our mind and give into the group of those who are responding with vitriol. 3) ALL are welcome to come celebrate heterosexuality with us in June!” the bar wrote in another post.

In a statement, Old State Saloon owner Mark Fitzpatrick said, “It’s my dream to build a community event center on some nearby land I own to help support conservative ideals. We’ve received so many truly evil comments from the extreme LGBTQ crowd. Some of the comments are truly horrific. But, there’s also been so much support!”

Fitzpatrick describes himself as a “Christian, conservative, Constitution supporter, retired police officer, and family man.”

The Old Stage Saloon Facebook page also featured promotions for conservatives such as “Open Carry Coffee” and “Christian Singles Mingle.”

Breeder

According to the Urban Dictionary, "breeder' is a slang term used by some childfree people for those who have a child and might have many more after that, refuses to discipline their children, thinks the sun rises and sets for their children, looks down upon people who do not have children, and are in general very selfish and greedy when it comes to their whims and those of their children, especially if they can use their parenthood status or their children as an excuse to get their way.

Breeder can be a derogatory term used by inner city dwellers (of any sexual orientation) to define inhabitants of the suburbs who subscribe to and are enslaved by their desire to procreate. Employed as a derogatory term, used by homosexuals to describe heterosexuals, it refers to one who breeds with members of the opposite sex. It is drawn from the fact that while homosexual sex does not lead to reproduction, heterosexual sex can. Use of the term carries an implicit mocking by connotation of animal husbandry. A female breeder is commonly called a moo, and a male breeder a duh.

Heterophobia: Is It Real?
Info: Heterosexual Privilege

Privilege Checklist

Straight Talk

"What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it's curved like a road through mountains."

-Tennessee Williams, Streetcar Named Desire

"I think heterosexuality is a perversion of nature."

-Margaret Mead

"There is objective proof that homosexuality is more interesting than heterosexuality. It's that we know a considerable number of heterosexuals who would wish to become homosexuals. Whereas we know very few homosexuals who would really like to become heterosexuals."

-Michael Foucault

"Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common."

-Dorothy Parker

"In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality. The ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man, either one, any human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation."

-Simone de Beauvoir

Heterophobia: Is It Real?
History of Straight

Etymology and History of Heterosexual

"Hetero" comes from the Greek word héteros, meaning "other party" or "another", used in science as a prefix meaning "different". The term "heterosexual" was first published in 1892 in CG Chaddock's translation of Krafft-Ebing's "Psychopathia Sexualis". The noun came into use from the early 1920s, but did not enter common use until the 1960s. The colloquial shortening "hetero" is attested from 1933. The abstract noun "heterosexuality" is first recorded in 1900. The word "heterosexual" was first listed in Merriam-Webster's New International Dictionary as a medical term for "morbid sexual passion for one of the opposite sex." However, in 1934 in their Second Edition Unabridged it is defined as a "manifestation of sexual passion for one of the opposite sex or normal sexuality." The adjective "heterosexual" is used for intimate relationships or sexual relations between male and female.

An Illustration of Privilege

The current use of the term heterosexual has its roots in the broader 19th century tradition of personality taxonomy. It continues to influence the development of the modern concept of sexual orientation, and can be used to describe individuals' sexual orientation, sexual history, or self-identification. Some reject the term "heterosexual" as the word only refers to one's sexual behavior and does not refer to non-sexual romantic feelings. The term "heterosexual" is suggested to have come into use as a neologism after, and opposite to the word "homosexual" by Karl Maria Kertbeny in 1868. In LGBTQ slang, the term "breeder" has been used as a denigrating phrase to deride heterosexuals.

The word can be informally shortened to "hetero." The term "straight" originated as a mid-20th century gay slang term for heterosexuals, ultimately coming from the phrase "to go straight" (as in "straight and narrow"), or to stop engaging in homosexual sex. One of the first uses of the word in this way was in 1941 by author GW Henry. Henry's book concerned conversations with homosexual males and used this term in connection with the reference to ex-gays. It currently simply is a colloquial term for "heterosexual" having, like many words, changed in primary meaning over time. Some object to usage of the term "straight" because it implies that non-heteros are crooked.

Privilege Walk: What is Privilege

How Privileged Are You?

Gal Pals and Compulsory Heterosexuality

Privilege Checklist

Comments About Heterosexuality

"People do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheeps and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white."

-Alfred Kinsey

"The dynamic of how women and men are meant to interact, for those of us who are looking for a heterosexual relationship, is very broken, and it leads to a lot of really dysfunctional relationships, abusive and otherwise."

-Whitney Wolfe Herd

"If there is a substantial difference between a gay couple and a childless heterosexual couple, I'm unable to see it."

-Daniel Keys Moran

"There is no conscious choice of heterosexual identity any more than there is a homosexual one. The last person in the world who wants to be homosexual, for the most part, are homosexuals."

-Michael Eric Dyson

"It seems to me the most important issue in the LGBTQ community is the right to be queer, the right to be free of the heterosexual assumption."

-Jasmine Guy

Cisnormativity is Rampant

Heterophobia: Is It Real?
Info: Transgender

"I'm as heterosexual as any person need be. I'm open about my relationships (or lack thereof ) in my own life, because I want to make the case that gay isn't contagious. It's not something that you can catch or learn or choose."

-Hal Sparks

"People say, When did you decide you were gay? and you think, When did you decide you were heterosexual? It's not a decision. It's something you gradually begin to realize about yourself."

-Sandi Toksvig

"The widely held belief that the heterosexual nuclear family is best for children has long been used as a smoke screen for homophobia and as a talking point to quash marriage-equality efforts."

-Jessica Valenti

"I'm really not an avowed heterosexual. I'm no more proud of it than of being white or tall."

-George Weinberg

"The state and the church seldom approve of anything I do. I don't need their approval. I don't aspire to the heterosexual nuclear family model."

-Jasmine Guy

Hetero/Cis Normativity in Our Society

Info: Homophobia/Heterosexism

Heteronormativity/Cisnormativity

Info: Gender Non-Conforming

Conventional Sex

Conventional sex, or vanilla sex, is sexual behavior that is within the range of normality for a culture or subculture, and typically involves sex which does not include elements of BDSM, kink, or fetish activities. It is plain, everyday, and average. When looking at conventional (or standard) sex with disdain, it may be described as boring, routine, unadventurous or dull.

Typically, we think of the missionary position as the most conventional or basic sexual position. For a straight couple, is no more than the male-superior position; that is, the man on top, the woman on the bottom. Otherwise, more generally defined, it is two people lying down, face to face, one person on top of the other person. It is pretty much unique to humans, and therefore differentiates us from animals. It puts partners face-to-face during sex. With this position, you can remain under the covers and still enjoy intercourse.

Heterophobia: Is It Real?
Heteronormativity Explained

Gal Pals and Compulsory Heterosexuality